Just a Girl in a Bar
by beccalovesmerder
Summary: A continuation of the final scene of 8x13 (the AU episode), If/Then. MerDer as usual. Enjoy! (On a temporary hiatus)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everybody!**

**This is a continuation of the AU episode If/Then. It's MerDer centered and is a one-shot for now, but depending on the feedback, could turn into a multi-chapter fic :)  
>So let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in reading more!<strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"So, 'Girl in a Bar Who Drinks Tequila'," Derek started with a smirk. Meredith could swear she'd seen him smile more in the past 2 minutes than in her entire residency combined.<p>

"What brings you to this bar and your tequila? I don't think I've ever seen you in here before."

"And how would you know?" she countered with a teasing grin. "You always here or something?"

"Here quite a bit actually," he admitted, staring slightly dejectedly into his almost empty glass.

"My fiancé has been cheating on me," Meredith confessed in one breath. What made her do it, she didn't know. If she were thinking straight, she'd realize this guy was her boss and her personal issues weren't something you were supposed to confess to over drinks. But she wanted to keep him talking.

Derek looked up from his drink with nothing but sympathy in his eyes and it took Meredith's breath away.

The dark blue eyes staring back at her had softened in a way she's never seen them do before. They bore into her own bright green eyes and made her feel exposed; like he could see every thought running through her head.

But she wanted him to know. She wanted to tell those eyes everything.

"I don't know how long it's been going on," she continued with a sigh. Tearing her eyes away from him long enough to finish off her shot, she waved over for a refill.

"I got engaged last night," she continued with a bitter smile. "This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. But instead I've lost my fiancé and my best friend all in one day. Oh! You know how that happened? Cause that's who he was cheating on me with!" She threw back the shot as soon as Tom placed in front of her.

"My best friend," she laughed disbelievingly. "He was screwing my best friend right under my nose. How did I not see it? The two people I trusted the most in my life and they screw me by screwing each other. Can you believe that? Why would someone do that?"

"I wish I knew," Derek whispered.

The previous flirty nature of their conversation had vanished as they both remembered why they were drinking.

"My wife is 7 months pregnant with another man's child." He said it like he was stating the weather.

"That man also happens to be my best friend," he added, finishing off the last of his scotch. "So I know how you feel."

"I'm so sorry." The sincerity in her voice wasn't that of pity. And for that he was thankful.

"Why do people cheat?" Meredith asked in a defeated tone.

"That's a good question," Derek nodded, mirroring his drinking companion's pained expression.

"Why do you think she cheated on you? Were you a bad husband?"

"I, uhm, I've been a little…absent," Derek admitted, absentmindedly messing with the empty glass in front of him. "Not that that's an excuse for her," he sighed.

"What are you going to do?"

"Another good question," he chuckled to himself. "I don't know," he decided, nodding a thank you to the bartender refilling his glass.

"I do know that my marriage is over though."

"Mine didn't even make it to the altar," Meredith mused.

"We make quite a pair," Derek observed, watching as Meredith threw back her 4th (or was it 5th?) shot of the night like a champ.

"What are we doing? We're being dreary! We're not supposed to be dreary. This is a non-dreary night!" Meredith exclaimed, slapping the bar for emphasis.

Derek could tell that the alcohol was getting to her, as 'dreary' was clearly more challenging a word than it was 10 minutes ago.

"More drinks!" she announced loudly as Derek laughed to himself. Despite the severe crappiness of his day, he couldn't remember the last time he felt this light.

"What should we toast to?" she asked, handing him his own shot of tequila.

"We're toasting now?" Derek asked with an amused smile.

"Yes. Non-dreary people toast to things," she decided with confidence.

"How about…to girls in bars?"

The look he was giving her was captivating. Her head was starting to swim, but Meredith couldn't tell what was more to blame: the alcohol or the way Derek was gazing at her.

"Who drink tequila?" Her mouth curled into a small smile while her eyes danced in the low bar light.

"Only them," Derek teased back with a smile of his own.

They clinked their shot glasses together and allowed the burning liquid to slide down their throats. Derek coughed slightly at the harsh sensation and ordered another scotch to get the taste out of his mouth.

"I don't know how you've had five of those already. I think I'll stick to scotch."

"Six," Meredith corrected. "And it's growing on me I think. Will you do one more with me?" she asked with mock sweetness.

"And why would I do that?" He didn't know if it was the alcohol or what, but he never thought he'd be having this much fun flirting with a girl in a bar.

"Because we have another toast," she answered, not taking no for an answer and sliding the tumbler in front of him.

"We forgot to toast to guys in bars."

"Well we can't have that, now can we?" he conceded, picking up the shot.

"To guys in bars who drink scotch," she toasted lifting the small glass in the air.

"Only them?" Derek teased.

"Only them," Meredith confirmed, looking him straight in the eye before downing the liquor.

That last shot seemed to rid Meredith of whatever inhibitions she had left because before she could do anything about it, she found herself asking "Do you want to get out of here?"

Rational Derek knew there were a hundred reasons he shouldn't do this. Rational Derek knew they were both too drunk and hurting to be making this kind of decision. Rational Derek should say no.

Except right now, rationality was the furthest thing from Derek's mind. Right now the first woman to make him smile in a year was asking him if he wanted to 'get out of here', staring expectantly at him with the prettiest green eyes he'd ever seen.

And there was no way he was saying no to those eyes.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to let me know what you think and if I should continue!<br>Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone!**

**I'm absolutely blown away by the response to the first chapter! Honestly, I was touched by each and every review so thank you so, so much to everyone who took the time to leave one.**

**I think this is going to be really fun to write and I will try my very best to get you updates as soon as I can. Just keep in mind that I'm a very busy college student and am also trying to keep up with my other fic,** _**Holding You Together, **_**so the updates more than likely won't be as fast as this one, haha :)  
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**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>_

"Meredith?"

The distant voice calling her name was enough to make Meredith jerk from sleep. Not quite ready to face the world and leave the warmth of her bed, she groaned and buried herself further under the covers. But something was different.

For one thing, she was naked.

For another, something warm and equally naked was shifting beside her.

"Meredith!" her mother's voice hollered up the stairs once again, effectively waking her even more.

Clutching the tangled comforter to her bare chest, a half-awake Meredith rolled over to investigate the shifting mass behind her.

Cautiously opening her eyes, she was met by an all too familiar disheveled head of black curls and two sleepy blue eyes.

"Crap!"

Memories of the previous night suddenly came flooding back, hitting her like a train.

"Crap?" Derek mimicked, slight offense lacing his tone.

"Hi," Meredith amended breathlessly. Pulling the comforter with her, she climbed off the bed, leaving Derek only covered by a thin white sheet.

"I'm late," she announced, turning to face the naked man in her bed.

"Why don't you come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off?"

The combination of the strategically placed sheet, his bare chest, and the playful gleam in his eye was almost enough to make her say 'The hell with it!' and take him up on the offer. However, the sudden sounds of movement downstairs brought her back to reality.

"No! You have to go. I'm late. Which is not what you want to be when your own mother is your chief of surgery, so…" she trailed off.

"Meredith, I'm leaving in 5 minutes with or without you!" Ellis yelled up the stairs again.

"You live with your mother?"

"Well, it was just easier after I graduated med school and I was planning on moving out with Alex soon but that's all been shot to hell."

"I'm sorry," Derek apologized with a slight frown.

"Why?"

"I didn't mean to bring up Alex."

"You know what? We don't have to do the thing."

"What thing? We can do anything you want." That damn gleam was back.

"No. The thing: Have the awkward morning after conversation; pretend we care."

"Who's pretending?" Derek asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Meredith, I'm leaving! And your father already left so you'll just have to drive yourself!" her mother yelled right just before they heard the door slam below them.

"Oh, thank God she's gone," Meredith sighed deeply, sinking to the bed in relief.

"I'm getting some mixed signals here so this may be a little awkward, but my car is still parked in front of Joe's and my shift starts in 30 minutes…"

Why the hell wasn't he more freaked out about this horrifying situation?

Reaching for the nearest pillow, she turned to whip it at his over confident face before stalking off to the bathroom to start the shower.

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><p>One record breakingly quick shower later, Meredith cautiously re-entered her bedroom not knowing if her guest had left or not.<p>

The room was empty and the clothes that were once strewn haphazardly about the floor were no longer there either. Dressing in the first things her hands touched, she quickly started throwing her damp hair back in a messy pony tail as she flew down the stairs to grab something portable to eat so she could leave.

"Good morning again," greeted a cheerful voice from the kitchen table. "Coffee?"

What. The hell. Was happening.

If someone had told her 6 years ago that Derek Shepherd would one day be lounging in her kitchen, casually reading the paper, grinning at her over a coffee cup, she would have admitted them to the psych ward.

However, lo and behold, Derek Shepherd was indeed in her kitchen, reading the paper, and even offering her her own steaming cup of coffee.

"I wasn't sure how you liked your coffee so I left it black."

"Black is fine," Meredith managed despite her obvious surprise at his presence. "What are you still doing here?"

"Well, I chose to interpret you mauling me with your pillow as a 'Sure, Derek, I'd love to give you a ride into work!' and made you coffee to show my gratitude."

Who was this man? This was not the Derek Shepherd she had the displeasure of knowing since her intern year. That Derek Shepherd was ass no one wanted to work with. That Derek Shepherd grunted instead of actually returning a greeting hello. That Derek Shepherd didn't smile. That Derek Shepherd didn't flirt. That Derek Shepherd didn't make offering a cup of coffee look sexy.

"You're showing your gratitude by offering me my own coffee?" she countered dryly with a lifted eyebrow.

"Well if you say it like that…" he teased, never taking his eyes off her and taking a sip from his mug.

Momentarily transfixed by the eye contact he was maintaining, Meredith shook herself out of it while mentally chastising herself. What in the world did she get herself into?

Grabbing her mug, she briskly went around the kitchen to transfer her coffee to a travel mug as she tried her hardest to pretend she didn't feel Derek watching her every move from the table.

"If you want that ride, I'm leaving now."

"Meredith, don't you think we should-"

"I think," Meredith interrupted, "that we both have shifts starting in ten minutes and that we need to go."

"I think we need to talk about-"

"Not now!" she cut him off a second time. Right now, all she wanted was a chance to process everything without Derek and his eyes to distract her.

Grabbing her keys from the counter, she left the kitchen to retrieve her coat from the hall. She didn't have to look back to feel Derek following closely behind her.

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><p>The ride to the hospital was awkward to say the least.<p>

Derek could tell she didn't want to talk about their night together but all he wanted to do was grab her and demand to know what all of this meant.

Meredith, on the other hand, wanted to be anywhere but in that car with him.

"_I guess it could be worse,"_ she thought bitterly. "_I could be stuck somewhere with Alex._"

She shuddered, realizing she would have to face him at some point during the day. Not exactly easy to avoid the chief resident when you are a resident.

"_Crap._"

As soon as she turned the engine off, Meredith was slamming the car door and practically running across the parking lot before Derek even had the chance to unbuckle his seat belt.

"Thanks for the ride?" Derek called to her disappearing form.

She didn't bother to acknowledge him and brushed past her meandering co-workers in order to get to the residents lounge a fast as possible.

"You're late," Ellis greeted plainly as she matched Meredith's brisk pace.

"I know, Mom." This was just about the last thing she needed.

"Cristina Yang, on the other hand, was actually here on time and got herself on Dr. Torres's service. Care to explain where you were while you allowed her to take cardio right out from under you?"

"You know where I was, Mother. I was home," she answered through a tightly clenched jaw.

"Well, while you were sleeping in, a major cardio trauma came in 20 minutes ago and it looks like they'll be in and out of the OR all day. I suggest you find another service to be useful on for the day and get it together for tomorrow. You're a 5th year resident, Meredith. This is not the time fall behind and get lazy. I raised you to be a force of nature. Step it up."

And with that, Ellis promptly turned down the hall and out of sight.

"Always a pleasure, Mom. Great pep talk," Meredith mumbled, pushing the door the residents lounge open using more force than necessary.

Today already needed to end.

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><p><strong>Reviews are greatly appreciated!<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, hello!**

**Once again I am blown away by the response to this story!  
><strong>

**I'm so excited that so many of you seem to be enjoying this because, I promise you, I'm having a blast writing it!  
><strong>

**I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to review. Nothing makes me want to write more than knowing there are people actually out there reading, enjoying, and waiting for more :)  
><strong>

**I hope this chapter lives up to expectations and fits with everyone's AU characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 3<strong>_

"_Where were all the sick and injured people?_"

As a doctor, Meredith knew she shouldn't be wishing for people to be suffering and in pain, but there she was. Currently hiding out in the pit and waiting for some mutilated or diseased people to walk (or limp) through the ER doors.

Unfortunately for her, the pit was dead today. So far, all she had to deal with was transferring a teen gymnast with a twisted ankle to ortho and calming a frantic mother who was freaking out over her baby's sniffles.

After the rousing pep talk from her mom, Meredith quickly threw on her scrubs and white coat as fast as she could. Thankfully Alex and April had the decency to not be there. As far as she was concerned, Meredith heard all she needed hear from the both of them. And leaving the ring in Alex's cubby before she left for Joe's the night before said all she needed to say to the cheating bastard for her.

Part of her was still in denial.

Why would he do that to her? She knew he had a past but that was before she came along. That was before he changed for her. Or she thought she had anyway.

What she really couldn't get over, was that it was April. It was the ultimate betrayal. There were no excuses to justify their behavior that she could think of. Did Alex just forget he had a girlfriend? Did April just forget he was her boyfriend?

Her best friend and her fiancé. Why did the last five years of her life suddenly feel like a lie?

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><p>Everyone seemed to have found a service and a surgery to be on because, aside from a couple interns, no one else had ventured to the ER the entire morning.<p>

After suturing up a woman's hand after a knife got away from her while chopping vegetables, Meredith decided now would as good a time as ever to take a break for lunch.

The moment she stepped into the cafeteria, she regretted it. She could feel all the eyes on her and hear the whispers that weren't meant for her ears. Throwing a five at the cashier, Meredith snatched up her tray and sped outside.

The sky was thick with light gray clouds that threatened to pour at any moment. For this reason, the patio tables were vacant and she thanked God, or whoever was listening, for this small victory.

She had just bitten into her questionable turkey sandwich when another tray slammed on the table and an exhausted Cristina Yang collapsed in the seat next to her.

"Eight and a half freaking hours and car crash guy still dies," Cristina complained, stabbing at her fruit salad.

Still taken aback from Cristina's sudden and more than unexpected appearance at the table, Meredith stayed silent and continued to chew her bite of sandwich.

"The wife is next though. They thought her heart was fine but she started having complications when they went to put her under to fix her abdominal injuries. I've got to be back up there in like 15 minutes."

Of all the people in the hospital, Cristina was not high on the list of people she expected to approach her.

"Not that I mind the conversation, because it seems like everyone around here now knows of my horrible personal life and you're the first person today to actually talk to me directly instead of whispering about me, but why are you sitting with me?"

"Did you not hear me? I have another surgery in 15 minutes. I needed a place to eat so I don't pass out trying to repair this woman's heart so she doesn't join her husband in the morgue."

"Oh, okay."

Apparently this was Cristina being friends. And she currently found herself in need of a friend right now. She'd take it.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No! I just wasn't sure what this…"

"What did I say about the moment and the hugging? I thought we had an understanding."

"We do," Meredith confirmed, shaking her head in a desperate attempt to clear it. "I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day." She threw her sandwich down.

"Not as bad as the woman I'm about to operate on," Cristina mumbled.

"I'm avoiding. I'm avoiding a lot of people actually. My mom, Alex, April…" _'And Derek,' _she thought, inwardly cringing.

"Cut anyone open yet? That usually makes me feel better."

"No. I've been hiding in the pit all day."

"You voluntarily spent all morning in the pit?" She almost sounded personally offended at the thought.

"Like I said, I was avoiding."

"We could get some scalpels and go find Karev," Cristina offered, only half joking around.

Laughing out loud for the first time that day, Meredith shook her head at her new friend. "As tempting as that sounds, and believe me it is, that would cut into my busy day of avoiding."

"Drinks at Joe's tonight then?"

"That sounds great," Meredith agreed with a small smile just as a chorus of beeping came from the small devices on the women's waistbands.

"Damn," Cristina cursed. "9-1-1. I'll see you tonight."

"I gotta go too," she agreed, looking at her own pager before rising with her tray. "See you."

They both threw out their half eaten lunches and scurried away in opposite directions to answer their pages.

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><p>"Hold that elevator, please!"<p>

Meredith slipped past the closing doors just in the nick of time. However, as soon as she noticed the elevator's only other inhabitant, she suddenly wished the it had left without her.

"Meredith," Derek greeted with a hint of surprise and a widening smile. She had to admit, as captivating as it was, smiling wasn't something she wasn't used to seeing him do.

"Dr. Shepherd," Meredith acknowledged, ducking her head and moving to the back of the elevator.

"Dr. Shepherd?" he repeated with mock hurt. "This morning it was Derek. Now it's Dr. Shepherd?"

"Dr. Shepherd," she insisted sternly, "We should pretend it never happened."

"What never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you beating me with your pillow this morning? Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold on to," he teased, looking back at her from over his shoulder.

There was that damn smile again.

"No. There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that, right?"

Okay, even she didn't believe her.

Derek pulled the emergency stop button before fully turning around to face her. "You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it?"

That damn gleam in his eye was back now too. '_Damn it.'_

"I did not take-"

"I was drunk, vulnerable, and good looking and you took advantage."

"Okay, I was the one who was drunk and you are not that good looking." She couldn't keep smile out of her voice or off her face.

"Maybe not today," he conceded. "But last night, last night I was very good looking. I had my red shirt on, my good looking red shirt, and you took advantage."

"I did not take ad-"

"Want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?"

'_Okay, what?' _Did Dr. McDreary seriously just ask her out? And he was being flirty and charming and not at all like the man she'd come to know and loathe.

She stood there staring a heartbeat too long before she snapped herself out of her momentary trance.

"No," she stated definitively. "I'm not going out with you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss. And my teacher. And you have a wife."

"I'm divorcing my wife." Derek took a step closer.

'_Why is it so hot here?'_

"You're sexually harassing me."

"I'm riding an elevator."

"Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line." '_Yeah, it's definitely too hot in here.'_

Meredith stepped forward to slap the emergency stop button in attempt to emphasize her words.

"So this line," Derek continued. "Is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker?"

In that moment, Meredith lost all ability to think about anything except the man in front of her. The look he was giving her was this indescribable look of longing and something else Meredith couldn't put her finger on.

Before she knew what she was doing, her lips were crashing into Derek's while they backed into the wall. Their lips and tongues battled for dominance as Derek wrapped two strong arms around her. He slightly raised her up in order to switch their positions, effectively pinning her between the wall and his body. Derek's hands found their way into her long, soft hair. He moaned slightly as her nails softly raked his scalp and tugged on his dark curls.

The feelings coursing through her made her feel like nothing Meredith had ever experienced before. Every nerve in her body was on fire and she never wanted it end.

The loud 'DING' from the elevator both signaled that they had arrived on the 4th floor and caused the couple to reluctantly break apart.

As soon as the doors started to inch open, Meredith pushed away from Derek's embrace with a flushed and frazzled look that only made Derek want to kiss her again.

When the elevator doors separated enough for her to fit, Meredith whipped through them without a second look back.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me write faster ;)<br>Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello fabulous, patient, wonderful readers!**

**Thank you for bearing with me during the brief delay in getting this chapter to you.**

**As some of you know, school and sickness prevented me from getting this to you sooner, but it is finally here!**

**Your patience and reviews of praise and encouragement mean so much.**

**Thank you again and here's hoping this chapter was worth the wait!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 4<strong>_

"We'll talk later?"

Derek's voice was tinged with uncertainty as Meredith all but sprinted down the hallway.

What the hell was he doing?

Meredith brought up many excellent points before they were otherwise occupied. He was her boss, he was her teacher, and he did have a wife. And he bet if he actually stopped to think about it, there were about 50 other reasons supporting that whatever was happening with them needed to stop.

But he didn't want to stop.

Ever since the unexpected death of his father, Derek Shepherd did exactly what he was supposed to. He needed to step up to be the man of the house long before he should have, but he did it anyway. He needed to help with his little sister because he knew his mom had enough to worry about as it was, so he did. He made excellent grades and pushed himself so he could later on go to college and med school. He excelled in his chosen field and became one of the foremost leading neurosurgeons in the world. He met a nice girl, married her, and became half of the competent, power couple everyone expected them to be.

He had done everything right.

Except 'right' doesn't always equal 'happy'. Because despite doing everything right, he couldn't remember the last time he and his wife had a pleasant conversation with each other. He couldn't remember how it felt to enjoy going to work. He didn't know when he stopped recognizing the man in the mirror every morning. He couldn't think of a time when he didn't feel like he was constantly downing.

Because despite doing everything 'right', his wife of 15 years was currently 7 months pregnant with another man's child.

So, no. He didn't want to take the time to think and convince himself that whatever he was doing with Meredith Webber needed to stop. Because, while it may not be the 'right' thing, anything that could finally make him feel like he could breathe again, couldn't possibly be wrong.

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><p>"You paged?" Meredith gasped breathlessly as she rounded the door of the scrub room.<p>

"I did," Richard answered from his spot in front of the large sink. "I figured I might give you the chance to actually be a surgeon today."

Meredith cocked an eyebrow in place of an actual reply.

"A nurse told me you've been hiding in the pit all day," he explained.

"The nurses gossip too much. And I haven't been hiding," Meredith defended herself. She walked further into the small room and leaned against the basin next to her adoptive father.

"Meredith," Richard started gently, placing a comforting hand on the back of her shoulder. "You had a horrible day yesterday. And I know your mother didn't make it any better."

"So you got me a surgery to make up for the fact that my fiancé's been cheating on me?"

"Kind of," he answered with a hint of regret, hoping this wasn't about to backfire on him.

"Thank you," Meredith chuckled, leaning in for a much needed hug.

"So what do we got?" Meredith asked, trying to pump herself up.

She didn't even hear Richard respond because the woman on the other side of the glass window in front of her suddenly consumed all of her attention.

There were 3 people Meredith didn't want to see today and she was now officially 2 for 3.

April Kepner stood in the OR overseeing the prepping of the patient her father was currently trying to tell her about and all she could do was stare. The feelings of confusion and betrayal were all surfacing again and all Meredith wanted to do was bolt.

"Meredith? Meredith, what's wrong?" Richard finally noticed she wasn't hearing a word he was saying.

"I can't," she whispered. "Not yet. I can't. I can't scrub in."

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"It was April." Meredith's eyes were still glued to the aforementioned woman. "I couldn't tell you yesterday because I was too upset but it was April that's been sleeping with Alex."

"Oh, Meredith," Richard sighed.

"I'll be fine," she said definitively. "I will. But I'm not currently in a place where I'm above stabbing her repeatedly with a ten blade, so I think its best I not scrub in on this one."

"Mer-"

"No, really, it's fine. I'm sure there's someone who needs a band aid or something in the pit," she insisted with a forced smile.

Before Richard could call her on the fake enthusiasm, the shrill cry of a beeper filled the small space.

"Oh!" Meredith exclaimed, looking up from her beeper. "Maybe I will get to practice medicine today after all," she said with a shrug.

She didn't bother to wait for a response before exiting the scrub room to answer the page.

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><p>One floor up and an empty elevator ride later, Meredith was striding purposefully over to the large counter of the nurses' station.<p>

"Hello," Meredith greeted the nurse politely. "I'm Dr. Webber, someone paged?"

"Yes. That would have been me," confirmed an all too familiar voice behind her.

Shoulders sagging and eyes closing in an odd combination of exhaustion and denial, Meredith reluctantly turned to face the inevitable.

When she opened her eyes, just as she expected, she saw Derek Shepherd leaning deliciously up against the other end of the counter with a patient chart tucked under his arm.

"_You_ paged me? Really?" She was too damn tired for this.

"You're a doctor, yes? We tend to make and receive pages all the time in the interest of patient care. Aren't you a 5th year? I would have thought you'd have caught on by no-"

"What is wrong with you?" Meredith interjected. "This isn't okay. You can't just page me at work to get me to talk to you." Meredith paused as they both glanced over to the nurse doing her best to act as if she wasn't listening in on their every word. Rolling her eyes, Meredith grabbed his elbow and pulled him into the nearby stairwell.

"No elevator this time?" Derek quipped with a sideways smile that almost made her forget she was supposed to be angry at him.

"Seriously! I don't know what you think we're doing but this is so beyond inappropriate."

"Who said anything about just paging you to get you to talk to me? Honestly, I didn't even think of that. I should have though. I'll have to remember that for later…" Derek trailed off.

"Dr. Shepherd!"

"Do you remember Katie Bryce coming into the ER this morning?" he asked, flipping open the chart he was holding.

"What?" He really did page her for work?

"It's in her chart that you were the one who admitted her. Says you diagnosed a twisted ankle but transferred her to ortho to have an x-ray and an exam just to be sure?" he asked peeking up from the chart.

"Yes," Meredith confirmed. "Honestly I was sure she was fine but her parents were pushing for images because she has a big show or whatever coming up. I didn't see the harm if they wanted to spend the extra time waiting."

"Did you do a thorough neuro exam after admitting her?"

"I went through all the basic exams," she answered suspiciously. "She said she slipped and twisted her ankle. Didn't even bump her head and she showed no signs of neurological damage. It's not like she warranted need of a CT or a neuro consult for a twisted ankle. Which begs the question, why does the head of neuro have her chart?"

"Because Katie started seizing right before they started her x-ray."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. That's what I have to figure out. She's got no indicators, no history…She's a mystery. And she's already seized again."

"So why did you page _me_?"

"Because you're her doctor and she needs help."

"Technically I passed her off to ortho, so she belongs to whoever had her there." Meredith countered.

"You admitted her," Derek countered back easily. "Are you on anyone's service yet?"

"No," she answered cautiously.

"Would you like to be?"

Meredith could only gape at him in shock.

"I think once we figure her out, Katie's more than likely going to need surgery. And I could use a resident."

"You never ask for residents," Meredith stated with a stunned expression.

"I asking now," Derek shrugged, studying her face intently. "Are you in?"

Momentarily hypnotized by the steady blue eyes watching her with such intent, Meredith could only stare back. In a moment of clarity or stupidity (she really couldn't be sure at that point), she held out her hand to accept Katie's chart.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, let me hear your thoughts!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again my loyal readers!  
>Here we are at chapter five! I really hope you all enjoy this one :) So let's just get on with it!<strong>

**_Italics indicate a flashback._  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 5<strong>_

"Damn, Webber. Someone run over your puppy?"

Labs, scans, charts, textbooks, and case files were strewn all around Meredith as she balanced a pen between her lips to free her hands to sift through a nearby book. She had holed herself up in a small conference room in what she assumed was hours ago and had lost all track of time in the process.

Now Cristina Yang was standing in front of her, dressed in street clothes and looking ready to go home. Until that moment she had totally forgotten about their plans for a drink.

"Damn it," Meredith cursed under her breath. "What time is it?"

"Sometime after nine," Cristina answered, collapsing into an empty chair. "What in God's name are you doing?"

"It's nine already?" she asked, temporarily ignoring Cristina's question. Grabbing at her waistband, she unclipped her pager to make sure she hadn't missed a page about Katie in her researching haze. To be honest she was surprised she hadn't been interrupted recently.

It took her being paged three times to Katie's room because her patient was "bored" or had some other complaint about the food or television reception before she hijacked an intern to deal with her instead. Said intern was under strict orders to only page Meredith if Katie Bryce was having an actual medical emergency.

Unfortunately for Katie, her intern did have to get Meredith about an hour after she had left the intern to deal with the young pageant queen. Katie had started seizing again for the third time that day and, this time, started coding in the process.

* * *

><p>"<em>Dr. Webber, what do I do?" asked the shaky voice of her intern beside her. Nurses were rushing to administer drugs to Katie's flailing body while Meredith wracked her brain for what to do next. Nothing they were trying was stopping the seizure.<em>

"_Did you page Dr. Shepherd?" she demanded._

"_Yes. Same time I paged you."_

"_Well page him again," she fired back._

_Just as the young doctor scampered out of the room, Katie's vitals dropped and her monitors started sounding in alarm._

"_Code blue!" screamed one of the nurses._

"_I need a crash cart in here!" Meredith yelled into the hall, rushing to Katie's side. As soon as the cart arrived, Meredith was handed the prepped paddles._

"_Charge to 200….Clear!"_

_No change._

"_Okay, charge again to 300…Clear!"_

_Still nothing._

"_Charge again to 360…"_

_The monitors were still sounding in protest and Katie showed no sign of change._

"_Come on, Katie," pleaded Meredith under her breath. "Charge again."_

"_After 60 seconds, aren't you supposed to administer another drug?" questioned the timid intern. Meredith wasn't quite sure when he had returned, but right now she was less than thrilled by his presence. With a final glare to the intern, Meredith craned her neck to address the nurse running the crash cart behind her._

"_Charge. Again."_

_At that final shock, the heart monitor filled the room with the steady beeping they had all been waiting for._

"_Blood pressure's coming back up," a nurse breathed in relief. _

_Handing the paddles off, Meredith finally let out the breath she didn't even realize she had been holding in._

_Almost simultaneously, Derek Shepherd came whipping around the corner and into the hospital room._

"_What the hell happened?" he demanded._

"_She had a seizure and her heart stopped," Meredith explained, coming around the bed to allow Derek room to check her vitals for himself._

"_You were supposed to be monitoring her," he accused harshly. Meredith's mind immediately wondered who this guy was and where the Derek that flirted with her in the stairwell had gone._

"_I checked on her and sh-" _

"_I got her," Derek interrupted severely, "Just…Just go." He wouldn't even make eye contact with her and busied himself with examining the patient. _

_Dejectedly, Meredith backed out of the patient room and into the hall. _

_Where the hell did her new Derek go?_

* * *

><p>That last thought was enough to mentally kick Meredith out of the memory.<p>

Where in the world did _that _come from? _Her_ Derek?

New? Yes. The Derek she experienced last night and encountered multiple times this morning was definitely a change (and a welcome change at that) from the Derek Shepherd she had come to know over the last five years.

But where in hell did she get off mentally referring to him as hers? For God's sake, the man was still technically married!

"Okay, so, you've been silent for a concerning amount of time now. And seeing as we haven't really been friends for that long, if you're having a psychotic break or something, I'm so not obligated to deal with it. At least not without a few drinks in me first." Cristina quipped from her chair.

"Sorry," Meredith replied, shaking herself from her thoughts. "I'm…I just…"

She was starting to sound as scattered as she felt.

"I kissed Derek."

Cristina raised her eyebrow. "You kissed Derek?"

"In the elevator." She honestly didn't know why she blurted out that piece of information. But she didn't really see a way to back pedal on the situation so there was nothing left to do but roll with it.

"You kissed Shepherd in the elevator?"

"I was having a bad day. I am having a bad day," she amended.

"This is what you do on your bad days? Make out with Doctor McDreary?"

"He's not really McDreary anymore," Meredith defended. "He's….Well I don't know what he is but he's different…"

"Since when do you make out with Derek Shepherd? Trying to get back at Karev?" Cristina inquired, mildly intrigued.

"No. Derek's got nothing to do with Alex. Honestly, I don't know what the hell we're doing together, but I think I have to end it," Meredith muttered almost bitterly. "Whatever 'it' is."

"He's married, isn't he?"

Meredith shot Cristina her best 'Oh God, give me a break and please don't even go there' look. To be honest, she was surprised Cristina seemed to be taking all this new information in stride. Surely the married head of neuro making out with his resident in an elevator would be a more shocking scandal.

"I'm not judging," Cristina held her hands up in surrender. "I'm just asking a question. Seeing as you've been on the other side of cheating, I didn't take you for one to go after a married man."

"He's getting a divorce," Meredith said defensively. "I'm not sure who knows yet, so don't go spreading it, but the baby isn't his. His wife's been cheating on him."

"How do you know all this?"

"He told me," Meredith shrugged. "We started talking last night at Joe's after you left."

Meredith hesitated a moment, attempting to decide if she should continue and devalue more about what exactly happened that night. As Cristina already pointed out, they hadn't exactly been friends for very long, but it felt so good to actually talk to someone about this.

"Why is your face all weird?" Cristina asked bluntly. She was nothing if not straight forward.

"If I tell you something, you can't lecture me, make a face, or tell anybody."

"Okay," Cristina agreed, slightly confused.

"We had sex," Meredith confessed in one breath. Ducking her head slightly in apprehension, she waited for Cristina to react.

Not really knowing how to respond, Cristina pressed her lips together tightly and raised her eyebrows to open her eyes wide, effectively breaking Meredith's second rule.

"Stop making a face!" Meredith commanded. "We were both upset, got drunk, and the next thing I knew we were naked. It won't happen again."

"Mhm," she replied skeptically, her 'face' remaining in place.

"It won't!"

"Okay!"

"It was a onetime thing," she insisted. "I told you, I'm ending it…This…Whatever we're doing."

"What _are_ you guys doing?"

"I don't know," Meredith sighed, throwing her pen down dismally. "Just when I really started to think that somehow he's different than the man we've called McDreary for the past 5 years, he turns around and yells at me for no reason. In front of everyone. Including my intern!"

"What'd he yell at you for?"

"We have this teen beauty pageant contestant who came into the pit for a twisted ankle she got during talent rehearsal. She ended up seizing for no reason when she went for x-rays. Dr. Shepherd and I have spent all day trying to figure out what's wrong with her, but her history's no help, her labs are clean, her scans are pure, but she keeps grand mal seizing. And the last time she seized, she coded. I had to shock her three times before we got her back. That's when Shepherd finally answered his page and then basically blames me for her coding. Like I have control over that. He all but kicked me out of the room!"

"Ass," Cristina agreed. "Want to complain more about the bastard over some shots?"

"I can't," Meredith moaned. "Katie's getting worse and Derek has no idea what to do for her. I've been sitting here for hours trying to think of something to help."

"Tumor?"

"CT's clean."

"What about infection?"

"No. No white count, no CT lesions, no fever, nothing in her spinal tap," Meredith rattled off dejectedly.

"What about an aneurysm?"

"No blood on the CT and no headaches," she answered again. "Also no drug use, no pregnancy, and no trauma," she listed as she indicated to the various labs and reports.

"I'm out of answers!" Meredith collapsed forward on the cluttered table. "What if we don't find anything?"

"You mean what if she dies?"

"Yeah."

"This is probably gunna sound really bad, but then you just wasted all day researching a case for no surgery."

"She's just never going to get to turn into a person. The sum total of her existence will be almost winning Miss Teen Whatever," Meredith mumbled. "You know what her pageant talent is?"

"They have talent?"

"Rhythmic gymnastics," she said with a mocking grin.

"Oh, come on," Cristina managed to groan and laugh at the same time.

"What is rhythmic gymnastics?" Meredith stumbled over the words while she laughed. "I don't know. I can't even say it. I don't know what it is."

Cristina was still laughing about the absurd activity. "Maybe it's something with a ball and a…What?" she stopped her laughing at the suddenly serious look that claimed Meredith's features. "Meredith? What?"

"I have to go," Meredith jumped up and started grabbing at papers. "I have to go find Derek."

"Mer, what is it?"

"I think I know what's wrong," she hurriedly explained. "So I need to go. Right now."

Before Cristina even had a chance to respond, Meredith was through the conference room door and sprinting down the hall in pursuit of Derek Shepherd.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>Reviews are greatly appreciated :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello!**

**Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. The response wasn't what it has been so if you didn't, hopefully this one makes up for it!**

**Also, I just wrote a one-shot titled **_**This Is Forever**_** that immediately continues from the most recent episode, **_**One Step Too Far**_** (8x17). It's got MerDer moments and Meredith/Cristina friendship. If you haven't already, go check it out :)**

**Anyway, on with the show!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 6<strong>_

"Dr. Shepherd!"

Meredith glimpsed his lab coat disappearing into an elevator as she rounded the corner, almost tripping over her own feet as she abruptly changed her direction.

"Dr. Shepherd, wait!" She skidded to a stop and threw her arm out to stop the elevator doors from closing in her face.

"Katie competes in beauty pageants!" she announced, catching her breath.

"I know that, but we have to save her life anyway," Derek replied, dryly. A few nurses in the back of the lift exchanged surprised expressions. Who knew McDreary had a sense of humor?

"She's got no headaches, no neck pain, CT's clean. There's no medical proof of an aneurysm," she explained as the doors were beginning to close. Meredith had to shoot her arm out to make them retract again.

"Right," Derek prompted with slight annoyance lacing his tone.

"But what if she has an aneurysm anyway?"

"There are no indicators," he brushed her off immediately as the automatic doors attempted to shut. She stopped them again, earning her a few dirty looks from the impatient passengers.

"But she twisted her ankle when she was rehearsing for the pageant," she pleaded for him to listen.

"Look, I appreciate you trying to help but-"

"She fell," Meredith interrupted. There was no way this man was going to yell at her and blow her off all in one day.

"When she twisted her ankle, she fell. It was minor. She got right back up and her parents didn't even think to take her in to get it looked at until she was finished, but she did-" She was cut off momentarily but the elevator doors attempting to close again.

"She did fall," Meredith insisted, giving the door another shove.

"You know what the chances are that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm? One in a million. Literally," he punctuated the word for emphasis just as the elevator doors started closing again.

All Meredith could do was give him one last imploring look as he disappeared behind a wall of silver. Turned dejectedly on her heal, she briefly wondered if she could take up Cristina on that drink after all.

Before she could take a full step, a loud 'DING' caused Meredith to turn her attention back to the elevator. The doors opened again revealing a group a visibly annoyed passengers and a determined looking Derek Shepherd.

"Let's go," he demanded, striding off the elevator with a look she had never seen him wear before.

"Where?"

"To find out if Katie's one in a million."

* * *

><p>After sending the orders to get Katie Bryce to imaging, Derek and Meredith stood silently next to each other in the dimly lit room attached to the MRI. While they watched through the large glass window, the interns and technicians busily worked on Katie.<p>

After a few minutes, the computer beeped to indicate the images they had been waiting for were about to appear.

Derek did a double take. "I'll be damned."

"There it is," the MRI tech pointed out on the screen in front of him.

"It's minute, but it's there," Derek said in awe. "It's a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She's bleeding into her brain."

Meredith couldn't quite believe it herself. She was right. She'd actually been right.

'_See there, mom_' she thought bitterly. '_I can do something right.' _

"Let's get her back to her room," Derek directed through the microphone to the doctors on other side of the glass.

"And let's go book the OR," he suggested to Meredith with a grin.

Exiting the suite, she had to hurry to match his excited gait.

"She could have gone through her entire life without it ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot-"

"And it exploded," she finished for him.

"Exactly," he smirked proudly, turning to face her as they arrived at the nurses' station. "And we get to fix it."

"_We_ do?" Meredith clarified with a playful gleam.

"Yes, _we_ do," he agreed with a matching expression. "I lured you here with the promise of a surgery, didn't I? I make good on my promises."

"Good to know," she smiled, almost forgetting that the man flirting with her now was the same man who yelled at her hours before.

The nurse behind the counter eyed the couple curiously, noting the looks and smiles passing between the attending and his resident.

"Let's book the OR for first thing tomorrow morning," Derek informed the nurse after snapping out of the bubble he and Meredith had unexpectedly created.

"I'd like someone to monitor her through the night, so you should find your intern," he told Meredith while he filled in some spaces on Katie's chart. "And then," he began, handing the chart to the nurse and looking back to Meredith, "you should get some sleep. I'll see you in the OR."

With one last parting smile, he turned and exited back down the hall.

* * *

><p>As tempting as sleep sounded, Meredith was far too keyed up to even attempt it.<p>

Not wanting to go home to face her mother just yet, she found herself walking across the street to Joe's after changing out of her scrubs.

Just as she was hoping, a familiar figure was perched alone on the same barstool as they had been the night before.

"Cristina," she called over the constant stream of noise coming from the other bar patrons.

"Meredith?" Cristina turned on her stool in surprise. "You escaped the clutches of Shepherd after all?"

"Yup," she chuckled while climbing onto the stool beside her. "I was right. She's got a small bleed that I get to help repair bright and early tomorrow," she informed her friend happily.

"I'll drink to that," Cristina replied, downing the rest of her shot. "Can I get another? And she needs some tequila," she indicated to Meredith.

"I'm actually really excited. I haven't gotten to do a lot of neuro," Meredith confessed.

"No one has. No one's wanted to willing subject themselves to Dr. McDreary."

"I told you," Meredith defended. "He's not McDreary anymore."

"We're back to that now? What happened to the bastard who yelled at you in front of your intern?"

"He still is, or was, I guess," Meredith stumbled, searching for the right words. Joe came over to place the shot she ordered in front of her and she paused to smile in a silent thank you.

"I don't know what he is," she admitted, tapping her finger along the rim of her shot glass. "But now sometimes he actually smiles and makes jokes and when he does I forget about all that other stuff and the man he used to be."

"Oh my God," Cristina groaned loudly.

"What?"

"You're falling for him."

"I am not!" she denied immediately.

"Oh, you so are." Cristina shook her head and took another gulp of her drink.

"No, I'm not!"

"So are," she insisted again. "Damn. You poor girl…"

Meredith angrily grabbed at the bar nuts and began violently breaking the shells. "You know, it's just that he's just so…And I'm just…I'm having a hard time…"

"Uhg. You're all mushy and warm and full of secret feelings."

Her fingers stilled as Meredith allowed herself a moment to think about Cristina's words. Just as she started to think that maybe Cristina wasn't too far off, she slammed her hand on the bar in frustration.

"I hate you!" she exclaimed.

"No you don't," Cristina countered, unaffected by her words.

"I just-"

Before she could come up with another argument, her pager interrupted. "Why the hell are they paging me?" she grumbled, reaching for the offending device.

"Oh crap," she gasped.

"What?"

"They're paging me 9-1-1 for Katie. I need to go," she said jumping off the stool. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have fun with McDreamy," Cristina called after her in a sing-song voice.

"Shut-up!" Meredith shot back before sprinting as quickly as she could back across the street.

* * *

><p>Meredith had never changed that quickly in her life. The moment she was back in her scrubs, her pager went off again, indicating that she was needed in OR two.<p>

She got there just in time to scrub in with Derek while he brought her up to speed. Katie had unexpectedly seized again and it had been decided that the surgery couldn't wait until morning.

Luckily they got in quickly and Katie came through the surgery with flying colors.

She was being wheeled out and into recovery while Derek and Meredith stood over the giant basin, scrubbing out.

"That was amazing," Meredith beamed, not able to hold back her enthusiasm any longer.

Her excitement was infectious and Derek was struggling to keep the goofy smile on his face in check.

"It was such a high," she reveled, reaching for a towel to dry her hands. "I don't know why anybody does drugs."

"Yeah," he chuckled, looking up at her as he dried his hands as well. He hadn't originally meant to hold her gaze, but her eyes were hypnotizing and he found it impossible to look away.

"Yeah," she agreed breathlessly. He was looking at her again. That dangerous look that made her heart flutter and her knees go weak. Her mind went to mush and nothing existed except the man in front of her.

Forcing herself to look away before she did something she'd regret, she turned behind her to throw the used towel away.

"You did remarkably," he complimented softly.

"Really?" She'd never heard him give a genuine compliment to anyone before.

"Really," he nodded. "You have a great technique. It suits this specialty well."

Well, this was news to her.

"You're usually on cardio, right?"

"I am. At the moment, it's what I plan on declaring for a specialty."

"Would you consider neuro?"

"And why would I do that?" she asked with an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"I just told you. You show a knack for my specialty," he answered, leaning casually against the edge of the sink. "And I have a lot I could teach you," he finished with a grin.

This wasn't fair. Anything sounded tempting when he said it like that.

"I've been preparing for cardio for years," Meredith stammered, trying to come up with a decent excuse to turn him down.

"That's where that teaching part comes in," he teased.

"We wouldn't work well together."

Derek's smirk only grew more pronounced. He knew she was grasping at straws. "I disagree. We just saved a life together. That's generally considered a successful day's work around here."

"You yelled at me. For no reason. In front of everyone, including my intern."

His smile disappeared and his face immediately fell. "I did," he nodded sadly, breaking their eye contact. His tongue darted out nervously to wet his bottom lip, which also served to momentarily distract Meredith from the topic at hand.

"I'm sorry," he apologized suddenly.

"What?" Meredith jumped, breaking out of the daydreams his tongue had caused.

"I shouldn't have done that, so I'm sorry."

"Oh," she said in surprise. "Okay." She hadn't seen that coming.

"I had just run into Addison before you paged," he confessed sadly. "Or really, I had just been corned by Addison. She wanted to talk. About Mark and the baby and…" he trailed off with an overwhelmed sigh.

"You don't need to-"

"No, I do," he said firmly. "I was angry at Addison and I took it out on you. I really am sorry, Meredith."

The sadness in his eyes shattered her heart. He looked completely broken; the opposite of the man who, just 2 minutes before, had been trying to seduce her on to his service. The instinct to comfort him was nearly overpowering.

In a split second decision, she propelled herself into his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, trapping him in a hug.

It only took him a moment to get over the shock before he returned her embrace by secured his arms around her waist and tucking his head to the crook of her neck.

Things right now were messy and complicated. Nothing about either of their lives in the near future was going to be easy.

But for the moment, neither of them cared.

* * *

><p><strong>If you're following my other fic, <em>Holding You Together<em>, you know that I mean it when I say reviews make me write faster ;)**  
><strong>Let me know what you think! <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello!**

**Here we go guys! Inspiration finally struck and I'm here to present you with the next chapter :)  
><strong>**_Italicized text_ is a flashback.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 7<strong>_

_Heaven._

With his arms wrapped around her, Meredith was sure this was as close to heaven as she had ever been.

For a fleeting moment, she couldn't help but note how sad that was considering her 4 year long relationship with Alex. Had he really never made her feel this way?

They were together for practically the entirety of their residency. They had been engaged for God's sake. Was it really possible that a man she had only really started to get to know the night before could make her feel more than the man she had once thought she'd marry?

She didn't give herself more than a second to ponder it though because Derek had just nuzzled his nose deeper into her neck and tightened his arms around her body. The actions produced a fluttering in her chest that was enough to banish all thoughts not related to the man enveloped in her arms.

But then, with the simple opening of a door, their private heaven was shattered.

"Meredith, I've been trying to find you all day. We really need to-"

The last person Meredith had wanted to see today had finally found her.

"What the hell is this?" Alex demanded, pointing accusingly at the separating couple.

"Dr. Karev," Derek acknowledged dryly.

"Meredith, what the hell is this?" he commanded again.

'_No,' _Meredith thought._ 'No way HE gets to be mad.'_

"_This_ is none of your business. _I_ am _none _of your business," Meredith seethed. "You lost all right to concern yourself with anything about me the moment you decided to start screwing my best friend behind my back."

"Mer, please let me explain," Alex pleaded.

"Don't you 'Mer' me! And what the hell is there to explain? You cheated on me, Alex! You betrayed everything we ever had."

"I was wrong, Meredith. I was so, so wrong. Please," Alex whispered. "Please, what can do?" He took a step forward and tentatively reached for her hand.

Meredith immediately recoiled the instant his finger tips grazed her skin.

"No," her voice trembled low with anger and unshed tears. "No. There's nothing you can do. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I want absolutely nothing to do with you."

She didn't wait for Alex to respond or even spare glance back at Derek, who had remained standing quietly behind her while the scene had unfolded.

Meredith flung open the scrub room door and propelled herself out of the room as fast as she possibly could.

There was an empty supply closet down the hall with her name on it and she was determined to get there before she allowed the tears welling behind her eyes to fall.

* * *

><p>Derek had to physically fight himself not to go after her.<p>

He couldn't see her face, but it was impossible not to notice how her voice had become thick from choking back tears. The thought of her crying made him caused his chest to ache painfully.

They hadn't been… whatever it was they were… for very long at all. The protocol for this type of situation for them was lost on him.

He'd give her some time, he decided. He'd give her time to herself for as long as he could stand, but he knew eventually his need to know how she was would take over.

Alex was still facing away from him and staring dejectedly at the door Meredith had just escaped through. Derek began to exit as well, but was stopped just before his hand could grasp the door handle.

"Leave her alone, Shepherd."

Derek turned around in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Eventually we're going to work this out. I made a mistake, but eventually she's going to forgive me and we'll get past this."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

"Look dude, I know you're an attending or whatever, but I'm telling you to leave Meredith alone. I don't know what exactly I just walked in on, but end it now. Don't you have a wife?"

Derek's eyes narrowed. "I think Meredith made it quite clear that this is none of your concern. And you're one to talk about fidelity," he shot back, exiting the small room before Alex could come up with a response.

* * *

><p>Katie was stable, sleeping, and had someone there to monitor her for the rest of the night. Derek finally allowed himself a moment to relax as he collapsed on a vacant bench outside the hospital. It was dark, save for the dim light emitted by the strategically placed light posts. And, in true Seattle fashion, a slow, steady rain was falling beyond the canopy he was seated under.<p>

He hadn't seen Meredith since she stormed out of the scrub room about two hours ago and it was starting to make him anxious. He had been hoping to see her when he went to check on Katie, but no such luck.

He wished he could take her away. Take them both far away from pregnant spouses and cheating fiancés.

'_This just seems to be the day for difficult exes,' _Derek internally moaned. '_Well, almost-ex on my part,'_ he corrected himself bitterly.

For all intents and purposes, his and Addison's marriage was over.

If he thought about it, they had been done for a long time now. But the moment Addison revealed that she had been lying to him for the past eight months about the baby? That had been the last straw. The fact that the actual father was his so called best friend was just an added slap in the face.

Running a frustrated hand over his tired face, his earlier conversation with Addison started playing over again in his head.

* * *

><p>"<em>Derek!"<em>

'Fuck.'

_As if the medical enigma that was Katie Bryce wasn't giving him enough to stress about, Addison had finally managed to track him down._

"_Derek Shepherd, I know you heard me, now stop walking away from me!" Addison yelled down the corridor._

_Derek finally turned to face his approaching, adulterous wife. Even thinking the word 'wife' anymore made him feel physically ill. _

"_I have somewhere I need to be, Addison, so unless you have a patient that has something neurologically wrong with them, we have nothing to say to each other." Derek turned back away on his heel as soon as the words left his mouth._

"_Hey! No! You can't just walk away from me!" Derek's brief pause had been enough to allow her to catch up to him, but his fast pace made it hard for her to keep up._

"_This is just cruel," she grumbled. "You can't just run away from a pregnant woman. That's just mean."_

"_So is adultery."_

"_Derek, we need to talk."_

"_I have nothing left to say to you. I called my lawyer this morning and he'll be in touch."_

"_Oh, for God's sake," Addison moaned exasperatedly. As they passed an open to an open on-call room, she seized the opportunity and grabbed his elbow to haul him into the empty room._

"_What the hell, Addison! Did it ever occur to you that I have patients and a job to right now?"_

"_Well when else are you ever around anymore? You can't just walk away, Derek. We have things to figure out."_

"_I told you. I have nothing more to say to you and our lawyers can handle everything else."_

"_How can you say that? How can you just give up like this? Why won't you fight for us!"_

"_What the fuck is there to fight for, Addison!" Derek yelled, finally losing his temper. "You are pregnant with another man's child. You had an affair."_

"_Sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention," Addison challenged angrily. "There are two sides to every story."_

"_And you thought the best way to get my attention was to screw my best friend? That was your resolution for our marital problems? Yes. Brilliant solution! It seems to have really helped!" he spat, sarcastically._

"_You're right!" Addison yelled back. "You didn't even notice! What does that say to you?"_

"_It says our marriage is over."_

_The two stared angrily at each other through the darkness. Addison thought about speaking again, but was interrupted by the beeping pager attached to Derek's waist._

_Cursing under his breath after reading the page, Derek re-clipped the device back to his scrub pants. "We're done here," he said looking back up towards Addison. "Like I said, my lawyer will be in touch."_

_The door slammed behind him as Addison sank to the nearest bed in defeat._

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

A soft voice interrupted his thoughts and caused Derek to suddenly raise his head from his hands.

"Hey," he answered back in surprise.

He had been fully prepared to track her down, but, lo and behold, Meredith Webber was standing right in front of him instead. "How are you?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "But, uhmm…I was thinking…"

She was suddenly very nervous and opted to look down at her fidgeting fingers instead of meeting his intense gaze.

"What?" Derek urged, trying to decipher Meredith's intentions as he stood from the bench.

"I was thinking," she began again." I, uhmm, know this place where's there's an amazing view of sunrise over the ferry boats," she trailed off with a hint of a smile as she look up at him through her lashes.

A wide grin broke out across Derek's face. "I have a thing for ferry boats," he teased softly, taking a small step closer to her body.

"So do I," Meredith whispered back as her smile widened in response.

Without another word, Derek wrapped a strong arm around her waist and led her through the drizzling rain to her waiting car.

Agonizing thoughts of Addison may have plagued him all day, but now, all he could think about was that sunrise.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>Reviews mean a lot!**


	8. Chapter 8

**HELLO!**

**I don't even know where to begin.**  
><strong>From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you all for your patience. With finals and all the stress I really just needed a break from everything.<strong>  
><strong>But I passed all 5 classes and feel so much better about everything and I'm so ready to get back into writing for all you wonderful readers :)<strong>

**In case you missed my last announcement about it, I run a tumblr blog that promotes good MerDer fanfiction where I post my own favorites and any fic that people submit to be posted.  
>I also post about my own fics, including updates about where I'm at in writing a chapter, sneak peeks (if they are requested), and chapter updates. My ask box is always open too so feel free to ask about anything including info on my fics :)<br>The URL is below:**

merderfanfiction(dot)tumblr(dot)com

**(Sorry I couldn't just post the link. FF won't let me).**

**Anyway! On with the show!  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 8<strong>_

"I have an idea."

Derek's voice suddenly sliced through the comfortable silence they had settled in as Meredith drove them to her 'spot'. Since they had climbed out of the drizzling rain and into her car, the two relaxed in the cozy heat coming through the vents and reveled in the serenity they had been craving all day.

"Care to share with the rest of the group?" Meredith asked coyly, sending a quick glance to the passenger seat before looking back at the road.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I happen to think no sunrise is complete without a good bottle of wine."

"Wine?" she repeated with an intrigued smile.

"Wine," he confirmed with a nod.

"And where do you propose we find this wine? It's, like, three in the morning."

"Excellent point. Which reminds me, I'm starving."

"Me too," Meredith admitted. "I don't think I've eaten since lunch."

"Well then, food definitely needs to be on the menu too."

Meredith's eyes scanned the sleeping city outside her windshield. "I don't think we have much to pick from aside from Wal Mart or maybe a Taco Bell," she trailed off with a tone of uncertainty. "Like I said, we may be used to being awake and working at 3 AM, but the rest of the normal world is sleeping."

"I think we could make do with Wal Mart, don't you?"

The mass chain of super stores was obviously not his first choice; however, his growling stomach wasn't going to let him say no to any possibility of food.

Besides, Taco Bell didn't have wine.

* * *

><p>Derek promised to be as quick as he could after insisting that she wait in the car and just let him run in to get their make-shift dinner.<p>

Due to the early hour of the morning, he kept his word and climbed back into Meredith's Jeep with several bags and an excited grin within twenty minutes.

After a few more minutes on the road, Meredith pulled her Jeep onto an empty loading dock and parked the car directly in front of the calm water.

The sky was black and wispy, gray clouds were scattered throughout, hiding most of the stars from view. From where they sat, the large moon was not in their line of view; however its bright reflection shined back at the couple from the surface of Elliot Bay.

"It's beautiful out here," Derek murmured.

"Mhmm," Meredith sighed in response. This had always been one of her favorite places to escape to after a long day or to think over a problem.

The couple seemed content to sit in silence as they watched lights of the city dance across the horizon on the other side of the bay.

She didn't know how long they sat undisturbed in the cab of her Jeep, but before Meredith could come up with something to say, her stomach beat her to it. The loud growl of her body demanding food ripped through the quiet calm and caused Derek to shift his gaze away from the water.

"Hungry?" he chuckled.

"Maybe just a little," she teased back.

"Fortunately, I can help with that." His eyes were practically glowing with a happiness Meredith had never seen there before. She couldn't pinpoint the cause at the moment, but whatever it was, she never wanted it to leave.

Eagerly, Derek pulled out two long, wrapped subs from the plastic shopping bag and placed them in between the two front seats. He then reached back down to retrieve a couple bottled waters from another bag at his feet.

"Turkey or ham?" he questioned with a playful expression.

"Turkey?" Meredith answered.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Derek chuckled at her confused expression.

"I don't want to take the turkey if you want it," she defended.

"I like both," he concluded before forcing the sandwich into her hands.  
>_<p>

For the next few minutes, all that could be heard was the sound of wrappers crinkling and quiet chewing as hunger won out over conversation.

Meredith was chewing happily on her sub when her cell phone chirped annoying from its spot in the cup holder. After looking at the screen she groaned quietly.

"Everything okay?" Derek asked in a hesitant voice. He was hoping beyond hope that whatever her phone said wasn't going to force her to cut their impromptu "date" short.

"Yeah," she sighed exasperatedly. "Just…..Alex," she confessed as she forcefully punched a couple buttons before placing her phone back down in the cup holder.

"Ever since he walked in on us in the scrub room he's been sending me texts about how we need to talk and how sorry he is or whatever." She wouldn't make eye contact with him and instead opted for staring at the half eaten sandwich in her hands.

"Do you…..do you think you're going to go back to him?" Derek asked, slightly choking on the words. He hated himself the moment he had said them. To be honest, he was scared to hear her answer. The last thing he wanted was for their chance together to be cut short before it even really began. At least if he didn't know he could allow his mind the comfort of denial.

"I don't know," Meredith finally whispered.

Cringing internally, Derek figured now was as good a time as ever to break out the wine he had been stowing away for dessert.

"I mean, I wish it were as simple as forgiving and forgetting. That way the last four years of my life wouldn't feel like a waste and a lie. But he cheated on me. How do I forgive that?"

"I don't know either," he answered quietly. He took a small swig from the bottle and then silently offered it to Meredith.

Grasping the neck of the bottle, she took a huge gulp of wine without even bothering to taste it. Her frown deepened as she shifted her stare to the top of the steering wheel. "Are you going to go back to your wife?" she countered, handing the bottle back to Derek before she listened to the voice in her head just telling her to down the whole thing.

"Not this time." His voice held a note of determination.

"What do you mean?"

"It happened a few years ago, while we were still living in New York," Derek began. "One night, I parked my car, unlocked my front door, go inside my house, and something's different."

He paused to take another sip of wine before stealing a glance at the woman beside him. To his surprise, she had abandoned her staring contest with the steering wheel and was gazing intently back at him.

"Nothing's different," he continued, "everything's the same, but still…something's different. And I stand there for awhile, and then I know."

It was hard to miss the pain in his features and Meredith could just tell that he was all but reliving what she had a feeling was a very painful memory.

"See, there are moments for me, usually when I'm in the OR, when I just know what's going to happen next." He stopped again to drink from the wine bottle, taking courage from every sip. "So I go upstairs and, as I'm walking down the hall, I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I go inside my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me and everything I think I know just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. What I know now is that, when I go in my bedroom, I'm not only going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend."

Derek took another sip before handing it back over so Meredith could have a turn. He shook his head sadly and returned to looking out the front windshield. "It's just so pedestrian, common, and dirty, and cruel… Mostly just cruel…"

All Meredith could do was nod her head in response. She knew the feeling all too well.

"So, I left and came out here. She followed me and we tried to make things work again. Or I guess we tried," he shrugged. "I felt like I had to. Like I owed it to our marriage or something."

"But why?"

"We had been together for eleven years. That was a quarter of my life. It was like you said; I didn't want eleven years to just be a waste. I also have four very involved and opinionated sisters and one overbearing mother who all felt the need to remind me that I had responsibilities I wasn't allowed to just run away from. So we went to counseling and Mark even started visiting after making it clear he wasn't going to lose his best friend."

"But you haven't been happy."

It wasn't a question. She said it like a fact. Like it was simply common knowledge around the hospital.

And he couldn't deny it.

"No. No, I haven't been happy."

"And these visits from Mark?" He knew what she was asking.

"I don't know if it was every time or how long they've been sleeping together after the first time I caught them. All I know is the baby isn't mine and my marriage is finally over. I called my lawyer this morning and filed. As soon as the papers come in, I'm signing them."

"Are you scared anymore? You know, about the wasted time?"

It was a good question, but for the life of him, Derek couldn't think of a good answer.

He wasn't scared anymore, but he couldn't adequately explain why. He had been agonizing over it earlier. In fact, that was exactly what he was doing when she had found him at the bar. Sitting there struggling over the past five years of trying to come back from that horrible night; five years of constantly feeling suffocated; five years of not recognizing his own life. All that time had gone by but somehow he had ended up right back where he was the night he found Addison in bed with another man.

But since the moment he woke up this morning with his arms wrapped around the most mesmerizing woman he had ever met, all that "wasted" time had been the furthest thing from his mind.

Instead of thinking about past, he found himself thinking of the future, of Meredith.

It should scare him. Feeling this attached to someone he'd only just begun to get to know a couple days ago. But in his forty-four years of life, he had never felt this way about anyone and he couldn't even begin to explain it.

It was like…It was he was drowning and she saved him.

That's all he knew.

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading!<br>Please let me know what you thought!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello!  
>I'll admit, I was having a tiny bit of writer's block (the start of summer classes didn't help either), however, it seems to have left because I'm very excited for the things to come :)<br>This chapter did not turn out the way I had originally intended it to when I first sat down to write, but I'm generally pleased with it so I hope you all are too!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 9<strong>_

It had been two weeks since that morning at the docks and a day had rarely passed where Meredith wasn't on Derek's service.

While their professional relationship had been growing steadily, the same could not be said for their personal one.

Much to Derek's dismay.

Although he didn't exactly like the professional distance Meredith had established between the two of them, he understood it. He was still technically married for the time being and she had a lot to work out with a certain ex-fiancé.

She also had a mother to be weary of. And to be honest, he may have been making an extra effort to steer clear of Ellis as well. Which was a totally understandable instinct after your boss catches you making out with her half naked daughter straddling your lap.

* * *

><p><em>They may not have managed to stay awake for the beginning of the sunrise, but when they awoke from their brief naps, the sky was beginning to reveal brilliant streaks of deep red and orange.<em>

"_When do you have to be in again?" Meredith's sleep filled voice whispered across the cab of her car._

"_Not til ten," he murmured back._

"_Me too," she sighed. "Do want to go back to my place to sleep? It's not even ten minutes from here."_

_Derek's brilliant smile lit up his exhausted face. "Yeah, I'd like that."_

_At the very least, he'd get to hold her one last time. No matter what was going to happen with Alex or Addison, he'd allow himself to forget and cling to this time with her for as long as she would allow._

_The quick ride back to her house was a silent one. With her parents' house looming in front of them, the two made no move to exit her Jeep as she cut the engine with the turn of her key._

"_What's wrong?" Derek's calm tone washed over her and she allowed herself a moment to appreciate the pleasant affects the sound of his voice produced. He was staring intently at her and she was sure, at that moment, he could see every thought running through her head. _

"_I'm not sure I want to leave yet," she admitted._

"_How come?"_

"_Because once I do, I have to address real life. And in real life you still have a wife and I may be ending a four year relationship. In real life I'm having all these inappropriate emotions for my still married boss and don't know how to explain them."_

_Her confession made his breath catch in his throat._

"_I don't want to go back to real life just yet. I think I just need a minute."_

_So he gave her a minute. _

_He reached over the center console to grasp her hand firmly within his own while they both enjoyed the quiet a little while longer. After an unknown amount of time passed, he slowly brought his other hand to her cheek to gently guide her eyes to meet his._

"_I will give you as many minutes as you need, for as long as you need," he whispered lovingly. "But I want you to know, that this boss of yours returns all those inappropriate emotions you're having even if he doesn't know how to explain it either."_

_She couldn't tell if it was his perfect words or the way his fingers were stroking her face, but Meredith launched herself at his lips before her mind could catch up with her body's first instinct._

_Instead of thinking, Derek just reacted. His lips caressed hers as his hands grasped her hips firmly to help guide her body across the car and into his lap. The feel of her fingernails rasping over his scalp was almost his undoing. He felt her hands drop to his collar as she pulled him closer, closing the already non-existent space between them._

_It didn't take much time for her long, talented fingers to find the buttons on his shirt and start popping them open one by one. Following suit, Derek snaked his hands up her sweater, fondling her soft skin as he went. Meredith momentarily pulled her lips away from his face in order to slip her shirt over her head before giving him an alluring smile._

_As much as Derek would have liked to just sit there and admire the woman perched on his lap in her lacey, black bra, his body was aching for more contact, causing him to pull her back to chest and ravish her pouting lips._

_He was just about to start on her bra clasp when two sharp knocks sounded from the window beside him._

"_Meredith Anne Grey Webber."_

_At the sound of her mother's voice, Meredith's stomach immediately found new residence in her chest._

"_I'd appreciate it if you un-mounted Dr. Shepherd and refrained from further undressing yourselves in the middle of my driveway," Ellis's icy voice sliced through the glass window._

_Meredith refused to look her mother in the eye and continued to look down at Derek who had a 'deer caught in the headlights' kind of look going on as he stared out the window back at his boss._

_Sensing her daughter wasn't going to respond, Ellis sent one last glare towards the indecent couple and warned, "Don't be late for work," before turning to enter her own car and driving off to the hospital._

* * *

><p>After a few hours of sleep and a lengthy conversation, the two agreed to keep things strictly professional until everything was settled with their significant others, deciding there was no need to add on more stress to their situations than need be.<p>

However, it was proving to be more challenging than either of them had anticipated.

Not once during her residency did Meredith look at Dr. McDreary and a think about shoving her tongue down his throat. Except, for the past two weeks, it was literally all she could think about. And Derek wasn't doing any better.

He loved teaching her. More than he had expected to and it honestly surprised him. Regardless of their personal relationship, he had meant what he said after Katie Bryce's surgery. She showed real skill in neurosurgery and only proved her talent to him more and more with every case.

But it came with a price.

Her scent followed him everywhere whether she was physically near him or not. It was some kind of flower or something. It captivated Derek to the point of insanity.

He had to be with her. He needed to be with her.

Soon.

Stepping off the elevator, he started reviewing the file of his newest patient when Richard intercepted him from his path to locate Meredith.

"Derek!"

"Richard?"

"Do you have a moment?"

"I need to find Meredith actually. She should be admitting my new patient."

"That's what we need to talk about," Richard said with knowing look and hastily guided Derek into an empty conference room.

"What's this about, Richard?"

"What are you doing with Meredith?" Richard demanded as if Derek hadn't even spoken.

"What are you talking about? I'm working with her."

"Don't play coy with me, Derek. Ellis told me about the two of you in our driveway."

This conversation was quickly heading in a direction Derek didn't care for at all. One normally doesn't relish in the opportunity to discuss the morning a girl straddled him in her car during a make out session with said girl's step-father.

"I know she's a grown woman and, as your colleague, what you do in your spare time is none of my business, but Meredith is my daughter and will therefore always be my business. You are married and she's hurting. I cannot sit idly by and watch her get hurt again. Do you see where I'm coming from, Shep?"

"I'm teaching her, Richard. That's all that's going on. She has an amazing talent for neuro that she hasn't explored before so I'm helping her do it. Nothing is happing between us."

"Groping each other in my driveway in not 'nothing'," he glared sternly. It was clear they weren't leaving until Richard got some actual answers. "And now suddenly she's on your service everyday and scrubbing in on all of your surgeries. Don't think Ellis hasn't noticed you favoring her."

"I don't favor her; she's good. If any other resident showed her skill and interest, I'd work with them too. However, none are, so I've been working with her."

It wasn't as if what he was doing was wrong. No rules were being broken and being questioned was causing Derek to slip into the defensive.

"Plus, I've been taking on a bigger case load and harder cases which is something Dr. Grey has been pushing me to do for a while, so I don't know why she wouldn't just be happy with that."

"Watch it, Derek," he cautioned in a low voice. "I'm just here to warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"Ellis has had her eye trained on you for the past two weeks. One toe out of line with Meredith and you can bet she'll be on you faster than you can blink."

Derek sighed in frustration as he tore his hands through his dark hair. "I told you, nothing is happening!" He collapsed in the closest office chair and thought a moment before choosing to continue.

"I'm getting divorced," he confessed.

"You and Addie?" Richard asked in complete disbelief. "Derek, the baby-"

"Isn't mine," he interjected. The older man fell silent, at a loss for what to say.

"I filed two weeks ago and the papers finally came in this morning. I'm just waiting for Addison to sign as well and then it will be official."

Derek waited a minute, deciding if what he wanted to say would help or hurt the current situation.

"I don't know what to tell you about Meredith," he added in a rush. "There's something there. We've both acknowledged it on some level, but with my divorce needing to be finalized and her needing space to deal with Alex, we haven't discussed it since the day her mother caught us in her car. We've been strictly professional since then."

His mentor listened intently, but his face gave nothing in way of his emotions.

"I can't explain it, Richard," he shook his head thoughtfully. "I can't explain it, but there is just something about her. So whenever or if ever she comes to me and wants to explore those feelings further, I'm going to say yes. Because I know I would never forgive myself if I let what we have slip away. Okay? That's what's going on between me and Meredith."

There. It was all out in the open. The nervous tightening in Derek's chest was beginning to loosen and would start feeling even better as long as Richard's response was favorable.

Without a single word, Richard walked past Derek towards the door, but before he left, he briefly clasped Derek's shoulder and said "It's been nice seeing you happy these last couple of weeks."

When the conference room door clicked closed, the smile he couldn't hold back anymore forced its way across Derek's face.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Reviews make me want to write faster and I love hearing what everyone thinks!**


	10. Chapter 10

**As always, this took me longer to get to you than I had wanted. If I had my way, all I would do was write and update for you all, but, unfortunately, I have summer classes that have to come first.**

**A HUGE thank you to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter! You guys keep me wanting to update :)  
><strong>

**Hope this was worth the wait!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 10<strong>_

The pen was mocking her.

So much so that she had to resist the overwhelming urge to pelt it across the room.

Addison probably would have just done it too if it wasn't for the fact that it had no desire to go pick it up afterwards.

Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd wasn't an easily intimidated woman. She was a force of nature in the OR and never accepted anything less than perfection from herself in every aspect of her life.

She made A's in high school while still managing to juggle multiple extracurricular activities. She studied her ass off throughout college and med school. She was completely dedicated throughout the entirety of her residency which enabled her to quickly climb to the top in her chosen field.

Failure was never an option. Never even a mere possibility.

Yet, somehow, she had managed to fail. The weight of the pen in her hand and the papers in front of her were practically screaming it back at her.

She was getting divorced.

And as soon as she signed next to the red, daunting arrow, the proof of her failure was going to be official.

A sharp movement in her abdomen caused her hand to fly to the side of her stomach. Her long fingers rubbed gently against her unborn child's movements in an attempt to sooth it.

'_It_.' Her nose scrunched up in displeasure.

She hated referring to her baby as an 'it' but she had yet to find out the sex. With Derek never around and acting so disinterested, it was easier for her that way. If she didn't know the gender, then she could justify not being able to pick a color for the nursery or narrow down baby names. She could pretend she was just as busy as her absent husband.

It was easier to reject the logical thoughts in her mind that reminded her that she could just go with a neutral color for the nursery, pick out boy AND girl names, or that she worked in a hospital with hundreds of doctors that would be more than happy to take 2 minutes out of their day to give her a quick ultrasound.

It was easier to conveniently forget all of that than to finally acknowledge that what was left of her marriage was crumbling around her.

And now she was staring at divorce papers.

The baby kicked against her hand again and she smiled sadly down at her large, pregnant belly.

She had known as soon as the stick turned blue that the baby did not belong to her husband. Mark had been "visiting" frequently and Derek hadn't touched her in months.

She really hadn't meant to cheat on her husband. I mean, who actually plans that?

But she was lonely and Mark was there. It wasn't an excuse but it was the only explanation she had.

When Derek took her back after she followed him to Seattle, she promised herself they wouldn't get that bad again. She wouldn't allow him to hide in his work and she wouldn't allow herself to be okay with it anymore.

Except that was exactly what happened.

Counseling didn't work, his looks of distance and disgust worsened, and she didn't even want to remember their awkward attempts at sex.

So when Mark started visiting to try to fix things with his "brother", it was all too easy to give in again.

She had honestly considered telling Derek the truth about the baby's true parentage. But the night she had planned to tell him had been a rare night Derek had decided to actually come home from the hospital.

He had staggered through the doorway and Addison would have liked to have been surprised by the pungent smell of alcohol wafting off of him, but she wasn't. It had been like that for awhile now. In order for her husband to come home to her, he had to down half a bottle of scotch first.

Before she even had a chance to begin the speech she had been rehearsing for the past 2 and a half hours, Derek grabbed her and kissed her hard. Not knowing what else to do, she allowed his rough kisses to continue and his usually steady hands to fumble with the buttons on her shirt.

It was quick, desperate, and Derek fell into a deep sleep moments afterward. The experience had left Addison with a nagging feeling of emptiness, but as she lay awake that night, an idea started to form.

Mark Sloan was not the man she wanted to raise a child with. In a perfect world, she and Derek would be back to feeling the way they did during the beginning of their marriage. Derek had always wanted children, but she had wanted to establish herself in her career before adding kids to the mix. Maybe a baby would be exactly what they needed to get Derek reinvested in their marriage. Derek wanted a family and if she could be the one to give it to him, perhaps the stinging looks of disdain would finally end. Maybe this baby could fix everything.

Except it hadn't.

Her pager interrupted her thoughts and jerked her back to the present.

Scowling alternately between her pager and the offending papers, Addison angrily scrawled her signature along the thick black line beneath Derek's.

It was over.

She had failed.

* * *

><p>Still sporting the ridiculous grin his conversation with Richard had produced, Derek strode happily into the patient room where Meredith was helping Mr. Levangie's daughter get him into the hospital bed.<p>

"Good afternoon, Mr. Levangie," Derek greeted with an easy smile. "I trust Dr. Webber has been taking good care of you?"

"Blondie here's been great," the man replied with a slight quiver to his voice. Derek reached out to help move some blankets so the two women could ease the shaking man into bed a little easier.

Once Mr. Levangie was situated, Meredith turned to the four interns grouped behind her. "Who's presenting?"

"Edward Levangie is a 63 year old man admitted for pain management for dyskinesia. He's been stable since this morning and responding well to his meds," a nervous looking red headed boy spoke up. He hadn't taken his eyes off Meredith the entire time and Derek didn't particularly care for the way the intern was looking at his resident.

He didn't care for it at all.

"Jamie," Meredith called on another intern, "possible treatments?"

"For Parkinson's disease? Uhmmm…Deep brain stimulation has shown very-"

"Not for Parkinson's," Derek snapped, causing the girl to jump slightly. He almost felt bad for startling her. Especially since his quickly souring mood wasn't the girl's fault. He just did not enjoy working with interns. Especially interns that spent their time ogling his….Meredith.

"For spinal pain," he clarified in a slightly softened tone.

Already shaken from unintentionally upsetting her attending, the wide eyed intern fumbled for her pocket sized reference book, mumbling a stalled answer of 'Ohh's and 'Uhmm's.

Giving Meredith a 'You know this. I know you know this. Please answer so they can leave' look, Derek pleaded for her to jump in.

"Intraspinal catheter," Meredith interrupted her intern's fumbling, giving into Derek's silent pleas. "That way he can have constant pain medication."

"Excellent," he nodded, offering her a small grin of thanks. "Dr. Webber, pick one of your interns to prep the patient for the procedure and page us when he's ready. Mr. Levangie, if either you or your daughter have any questions, just have a nurse page Dr. Webber or myself and we'd be happy to answer them."

The doctors all shuffled out of the small room so the remaining interns could finish rounding with Meredith and Derek could check on a couple post-op patients. Derek's pager beeped from his waistband and he smiled quickly after taking a second to read it. As discreetly as he could, he reached out for Meredith's wrist to stop her before she could turn away.

"Page me when you're finished rounding," Derek hurriedly whispered in her ear. "I have something to ask you."

He pulled his face away from her head and shot her a quick wink before turning to saunter briskly down the corridor.

As if the feeling of his warm breath against the nape of her neck wasn't already sending her into a tizzy, did he really have to wink at her?

Really?

* * *

><p>She had found other services and assignments for all of her interns but Meredith had still yet to contact Derek. She was leaning against the side of the nurse's station trying to work up enough courage to ask the woman filing charts to page Dr. Shepherd.<p>

He had something to ask her.

For the past two weeks, as hard as it had been, they had been strictly professional. Neither of them talked about anything not having to do with neurosurgery and it seemed to be working for them.

To her surprise, she really like neuro and, according to Derek, she was good at it too. Sure, she had been great at cardio, but it was nothing like this.

She had always been so secretly jealous of Cristina. Not because she always stole all the good cardio cases or picked up on everything in the specialty so easily (although that would have been enough of a reason). But because of the sheer passion she clearly had for her job. Meredith could master every technique in the book but she could never imagine feeling that kind of intensity for a thoracic aortic aneurysm or a coronary bypass graft. The high she felt after any surgery was always there, but it paled in comparison to the sense of coming home she knew her new friend experienced while holding a heart in her hands.

But ever since Derek Shepherd had handed over his instruments to her during Katie Bryce's surgery, Meredith had gotten a glimpse at what Cristina experienced every time she touched a heart.

With all the conflicting emotions surrounding the messy situation with Derek, she didn't want to admit it to herself just yet, but, whether she admitted it out loud or not, Meredith knew she had found her home in neurosurgery.

"Meredith."

Her body shivered in response as Derek slid into the space next to her against the counter. "Did you finish with your interns?"

"I was just about to page you," she fibbed, not trusting herself to make eye contact with him now. He was too close and he smelled too wonderful. She couldn't be held responsible for her actions if she let herself look into his eyes.

"Would you mind following me? I'd rather we talk somewhere without eavesdropping nurses."

While his reasons made sense, the logical part of her brain was shrieking at how bad an idea this was. However, the other part of her brain that forced her into finally looking up at him, instructed her to just smile, nod, and follow him into the conference room across the hall.

So she did.

* * *

><p>"Go on a date with me."<p>

He had planned on opening with something a little more on the smooth side but his excitement seemed to have gotten the better of him.

"What?"

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight," he beamed at the mere thought of it.

"What?" Meredith repeated again, taken completely off guard.

"You know. A date," he explained slowly, smile still plastered to his face. "Real food, waiters, big chucks of carbs in a basket."

When her shocked expression didn't waver, he cocked his head to the side and gave her a look somewhere between pleading and hopeful.

"Wha...I…What happened to slow? What happened to waiting? You're still married, Derek."

"I handed Addison the papers this morning .That page I got after we finished with Mr. Levangie was her letting me know she signed them."

The relief on his face and in his voice was enough to make her want to do anything for him. Anything to keep him as happy as he looked right this minute.

"I'm free, Mer."

"You're not though," she said sadly. The logical part of her brain was taking over now. "She may have signed, but aren't you still married until it's finalized?"

"They just have to be sent back to our lawyers and processed, but for all intents and purposes, we are divorced. Please, Meredith. I've wasted far too much time being miserable in a marriage that neither Addison or I were happy in. I had forgotten what it felt like to enjoy coming to work, to be excited to wake up in the morning. You are the reason I'm remembering again. You, Meredith Grey-Webber, make me remember what it feels like to be truly happy."

He took a step forward and gathered both of her hands in his own.

"I can't tell you what will happen next year, next month, or even next week. But what I do know that we both have these inexplicable feelings for each other and we deserve to explore them together."

When Derek took a step closer into her space he heard her breath catch softly in her throat. He dropped one of her hands in order to reach up and loving stroke her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"What I do know that you make me happy," he continued in a hushed voice, looking deeply into her eyes. "All I'm asking is for one night to prove that maybe I can make you happy too."

His face was far too close to her own and his eyes were holding her gaze like a life line. Her mouth was still slightly open due to shock but, unfortunately, she was paralyzed from his proximity to do anything about it.

She couldn't say no to that face. She couldn't deny that face anything.

"Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>See that pretty blue button? You should hit it and let me know what you thought ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello dear readers!  
><strong>

**I just finished my other multi-chapter fic so I'll be able to focus solely on this one for awhile :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 11<strong>_

_They were going on a date. _

_Crap._

Meredith slammed the conference room door closed after shoving an all too cheeky looking Derek out the other side and collapsed all her weight against the cool wood.

She knew her hair was a mess and she could feel her swollen lips tingle as lasting evidence of what she and Derek has just been doing.

After her simple reply to his request for dinner, he immediately attacked her lips with his own. The spark that shot through her the moment their bodies met was paralyzing and she never wanted the feeling to end. All the built up tension that had been gathering the past two weeks had finally exploded in this one amazing kiss.

Derek's fingers lightly traveled down the length of her spine and stopped at her waist to toy with the hem of her scrub top. The moment his finger tips grazed her bare skin, Meredith was suddenly whipped back to reality. The horrifying reality being that she was currently in a passionate make out session with her married boss in a room where virtually anyone, including both of her parents, could walk in and catch them.

Pushing at his chest, Meredith managed to disentangle herself out of his embrace. If she wasn't so embarrassed, the dazed look that Derek was sporting would have had her in a fit of giggles.

"We can't do this here!" Meredith scolded urgently.

"On the contrary, I thought we were doing rather well before you pushed me away." The dazed look was quickly replaced with a wide, pleased grin.

"This is not funny. This is so the opposite of funny! My mother could have walked in. Or your wife! What about them catching us making out is funny to you?"

"You're cute when you're flustered," Derek confessed in a low voice as if she hadn't spoken. He was giving her that dangerous look again as he took a step forward and reached for her waist to pull her close again.

"What are you doing?" Meredith demanded, slapping at his shoulder.

"Picking up where we left off," he murmured into the column of her neck, placing kisses as he went. Her eyes closed briefly in a moment of pleasure and surrender. However the moment was brief, as voices coming from the other side of the door reminded her of their current, slightly public location.

"I am not going to get caught with you in here!"

Derek pulled back to look at her with a hurt, puppy dog expression. "You're not having fun?"

She rolled her eyes at the ridiculous thought. "I never said that. I'm just not going to get caught straddling you half naked by my mother again."

"Are you saying that wasn't a good time for you?"

"Get out!" She shoved at his chest again as he looked on with humor and grabbed for the door handle. "Go save someone's life!"

He was just about out the door when he poked his head back in. "Pick you up at eight?"

"Go!"

His laughter filled the room before she slammed the door in his face and sunk to the floor, deep in thought.

Maybe this wasn't as big of a deal as she was making it out to be. The papers were all signed after all and since Addison had signed them too, she clearly was acknowledging the end of the marriage as well.

Plus, she had missed him. It was hard for her to discern how considering they saw each other every day at the hospital. But on a more personal level, they were just starting to get to know one another before putting up those professional walls.

She wanted her guy in a bar back.

* * *

><p>"I have a date with McDreamy."<p>

The sound of Meredith's terrified voice and the tray slamming down on the lunch table caused Cristina to look up from the cluster of grapes she was busy practicing sutures on.

"Uhmm…Okay."

Without waiting for more a response, Meredith scrabbled to the seat next to her friend. "A date. Tonight. I have a date tonight with my boss. My married boss."

"And I have a surgery in two hours and you're blowing my concentration."

"Cristina!" she pleaded.

"Okay, fine," Cristina conceded, putting down the needle. "You have a date?"

"Yes."

"And have you forgotten how to go on a date?"

"No! You're missing the point."

"Well did he force you into it? Cause if you agreed to go out with him tonight then I'm guessing you want to go and I'm not sure what the big deal is."

"It's just…He's my boss. And what if it doesn't go well?"

Her friend sighed and went back to her grapes. "The man has spent the past two weeks following you around the hospital like a damn puppy. You could show up in a brown paper bag, ignore all his jokes, and refuse to share dessert and he'd still walk around here like some love struck idiot afterwards."

"Is that how it started with you and Burke?"

Cristina froze mid-stitch. "I don't talk about Burke."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"It's just none of your business," she continued defensively.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me anything," Meredith help up her hands in surrender. "It just seemed like the situations may have some similarities."

"Well until Shepherd leaves you at the altar after letting his mother shave off your eyebrows to numb you into submission, it's not the same thing."

The bite in her tone told Meredith that the conversation was definitely over. Not wanting to push any further, she picked up her fork and started poking around at her fruit salad.

After a minute of silence, Cristina glanced over at her lunch partner and asked, "So where's McDreamy taking you anyway?"

Grateful for the peace offering, she quickly started filling in her friend on the events that had happened in the conference room that morning.

* * *

><p>Standing in front of her full length mirror, Meredith smoothed out an invisible wrinkle on the front of her slinky black dress. The halter dress fell flatteringly over her soft curves and stopped just below the knee. The front displayed a modest scoop neck but the back plunged provocatively down to her lower back.<p>

Derek would be picking her up any minute and she had never been more grateful for the fact that both her parents were working late. She wasn't quite ready for the two of them to know about her budding relationship with the head of neuro.

When the doorbell rang, Meredith about jumped out of her skin before fixing her hair one last time and rushing down to greet her date.

Nothing could have stopped the dazzling smile that immediately appeared on her face the moment she spotted Derek on the other side of the glass door. The dark blue of his button up shirt brought out the sparkle in his dancing eyes while his hands were casually placed in the pockets of his black slacks.

She wasted no time in opening the door to let him enter. "Hey," she greeted, bright smile still plastered on her face.

"Hi," he purred, taking a moment to look at her appreciatively. Meredith blushed slightly under the intensity of his gaze. "You look amazing, Meredith."

"You don't clean up too bad yourself," she flirted back. "I take it this is okay for wherever it is we're going?"

"You're perfect," he stated simply with another grin. "Shall we?"

"We shall."

She grabbed her purse from the small table beside her and linked her free arm through his.

They were going on a date.

* * *

><p><strong>I know that was a mean place to stop but I've already started writing the next chapter!<br>(Hint: Reviews make me write faster ;] )**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello!**

**I honestly meant to get this to you guys sooner but school got a little busy and I got a job :D  
>Anyway! Here it is!<br>On with the date!  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 12<strong>_

The small candle flickered delicately in the center of the table. The dim light of the restaurant created an intimate feel that both parties appreciated.

Peeking over the top of his menu, Derek stole a glance in Meredith's direction. He couldn't hold back the small chuckle at the sight of her intently scrutinizing the menu. Something in the way she was pouring over the menu reminded him of the way she would analyze a tricky set of MRI results.

The light of the candle added a soft glow to her features that he didn't mind taking the time to appreciate either.

Sensing his eyes on her, Meredith shifted her attention away from the list of entrees. "What?"

"Nothing," Derek replied quickly with a secret smile.

Before she could insist any further, the waitress came over with their previously ordered wine as well as Meredith's soup and Derek's salad. The young woman quickly took their orders for the main course and then scurried away to deliver them to the kitchen.

Taking a sip of her wine, Meredith suddenly felt ridiculously nervous. There weren't menus or waitresses to distract them anymore and she had no idea how to begin to fill the silence.

Crap.

Maybe Cristina was right. Maybe she had forgotten how to go on a date.

Not that there was a chance in hell Meredith was going to admit that to her. She could already picture Cristina's smug little face and hear the week's worth of teasing.

Nope. She and Derek could be silent the entire night and avoid each other at all costs back at Seattle Grace as a result, but Cristina would never be allowed to find out any of the reasons why.

"This is weird, isn't it?" Derek's voice snapped Meredith out of her inner rambling.

"What?"

"It's a little awkward," he admitted with a light shrug, drizzling the vinaigrette over his salad before looking back up to study her face.

He certainly didn't look like he felt awkward to her.

In fact, this was probably the most relaxed she'd ever seen him. His head was tilted thoughtfully to the side as his body leaned comfortably into his chair. Meredith found herself momentarily transfixed as she watched his long fingers toy with the stem of his wine glass.

"No," Meredith insisted. "Not awkward, just…I'm suddenly very aware that I'm having dinner with my boss."

"I'm not your boss right now. I'm just Derek." An easy smile settled on his face causing Meredith to return a shy grin.

"Just Derek?"

"Mhmm." He shifted his weight forward, inching closer to her with his forearms resting on the smooth table cloth.

"So what is 'just Derek' like on a first date?" she questioned, resting her elbows on the table as well and leaning her chin on her hands.

"Oh, very suave," Derek joked. "All the women swoon."

Meredith laughed out loud at the sarcastic expression he was making, relaxing more by the second. She picked up her spoon and tentatively brought the steaming liquid to her lips, allowing the delicious flavors of the soup to invade her mouth.

"No," he amended, stilling grinning from his own joke and picking up his salad fork. "In all seriousness, I really never dated much, to be honest. Addison and I met during our second year of med school and we've been together ever since. Well, up until a few weeks ago, of course. But even before her, I had very few first dates. I've always been much more interested in long term relationships." Without realizing it, Derek shifted even closer towards his date, drawn in by the captivating green eyes across from him. "I've never been a fan of 'new', I suppose. I like to know a person. What makes them moan," he purred in a lower voice only she could hear.

"Is that so?" How Meredith had managed to speak with him looking at her like that, she didn't have a clue. "What does that mean for us then? I'm guessing that dating your resident would be classified as 'new'."

"True, but luckily I had already figured out a few ways to make you moan our first night together after Joe's so I'd say we're on the right track. Ahead of schedule even."

"That's good. I am an over achiever after all," she flirted right back.

He couldn't tell if it was the wine, the company, or a combination of the two, but Derek couldn't remember the last time he had felt this at ease. It excited him even more to watch Meredith begin to unwind and enjoy herself with him. The easy banter and flirtation was a new level of interaction he was sure he would never want to end.

"What about you?" he countered, watching as she reached for the basket of bread between them.

"What about me?"

"Any first date moves I should be on the look out for?"

Before she could come up with a witty retort, the waitress came back to the table to take away their barely eaten first course and give them their entrees.

Derek couldn't hold back his amused laugh at the sight of Meredith's eyes lighting up when her stuffed chicken marsala was placed in front of her.

Conversation halted momentarily while the two started into their meals.

"I take it you like your chicken?" Seeing as half her plate was already gone, the answer was pretty clear.

"Don't tease me," she scolded unconvincingly, pointing her knife in his direction. "I barely ate lunch because my sandwich smelled like hospital and who wants to eat that? Plus, this is probably the best chicken marsala I've ever had. How's your shrimp?"

"Excellent. Would you like to try some?" He held out his fork without waiting for her response and she gladly leaned in to take the offered shrimp.

"So, you never told me. What are you like on a first date?"

"I'm afraid I'm not any more exciting than you are in that area."

"Ouch," Derek feigned offence. "Perhaps it's because you insult the poor guys in the middle of dinner?"

"Shut up," she laughed. "I'm just saying I didn't date much either. I was very focused on my studies. How could I not be with Ellis Grey as my mother? There were a few relationships over the years that never went anywhere and I met Alex on my first day of residency. Half way through my intern year we started dating and you know the rest," she trailed off.

"He hasn't been bothering you at all anymore, right?"

"Do you really want to talk about my ex on our first date?" she countered.

"No," Derek shook his head after taking no more than a second to contemplate it.

Alex was really the last thing she wanted to think about at the moment. She had managed to avoid him as much as possible and only interacting when their jobs demanded it. But as soon as she could feel the topic begin switch to something not medical related, she made sure to make herself scarce.

She knew eventually she would have to talk to Alex. The avoiding was exhausting and if the last two weeks had shown her anything, it was that she had no desire to go back to him and their relationship. Any trust they had was gone and there was no way she'd be able to pull herself away from whatever it is she and Derek had started.

Changing the subject quickly, Derek began asking her random questions in an amusing way to get to know her. Everything as simple as her favorite color (purple) to where she wanted to be professionally in the next few years (she begrudgingly admitted that she had begun to lean towards declaring neurosurgery as her specialty in a few weeks).

The conversation flowed effortlessly for the rest of the evening and the two were left completely satisfied after declining dessert and paying the bill for dinner.

As they walked back out to Derek's car, Meredith's mind was reeling. She didn't want the night to end just yet, but there was no way she was about to invite him back to her house knowing that her parents were there. The fact that she had done just that their first night together she blamed completely on the tequila and the porny thoughts it had caused.

Just thinking about the night they had spent together cause her cheeks to flush and she quickly looked out the passenger side window so Derek wouldn't notice. Maybe she'd had more wine than she'd realized.

On second thought, perhaps being alone with Derek in close proximity to a bedroom wasn't the smartest idea at the moment.

"Not that you have to," Derek began once they had pulled out of the parking lot, "But if you'd like to come back to my place for a drink, you're very welcome to." He stole a glance at the woman beside him before looking back at the road.

"Uhmm…It's not that I don't want to, because I would love to. Keep tonight going, I mean. But I have an early shift tomorrow that starts in six hours and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how I feel about going back to the house you shared with your sort of ex-wife."

"She _is_ my ex-wife," he immediately corrected. "And I haven't lived at that house since the night at Joe's. I have a few acres of land across the bay and a trailer. At the moment, a family of raccoons has decided that they prefer my luggage compartment to a tree in the woods so, for now, I'm staying at a hotel near the hospital."

"Oh…" As ineloquent as it was, it was all Meredith could come up with while she digested all this new information.

"But I completely understand. You should get some sleep. Wouldn't want you to be yawning into anyone's brain tomorrow," he winked in her direction.

"Next time," she promised softly.

The dashboard lights allowed Meredith to see the brilliant smile her words had caused to slide across Derek's face. A promise of a second date was all he had needed to make their night perfect and she had just given it to him.

"Next time."

* * *

><p><strong>Type your thoughts and comments in that nifty, little box down there so I can hear them!<br>Thanks for reading :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm SO sorry this took as long as it did to get posted. Real life got super crazy and I just didn't have the time until now.  
>Hope it was worth the wait though!<strong>

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 13<strong>_

Everyone was staring at her.

Everyone.

At least that's what it felt like.

From the moment she walked into the hospital, Meredith could feel everyone's eyes on her. Every time she went up to the nurse's station to ask for a chart, it was always handed over with a smug smile and whispers as soon as she turned her back. Leering, gossiping interned seemed to be around every corner she rounded. Even the guy at the coffee cart gave her strange looks as he handed over her latte.

She was contemplating this while sipping her drink and leaning against a corridor wall when she felt a strong hand tug her into the on-call room immediately to her right.

Meredith's immediate thought was that Derek had finally arrived for his shift and was choosing to pick up where they last left off in the conference room the day before. However, her involuntary smile instantly fell as soon as she laid eyes on the man now in front of her.

"What the hell, Alex? Good morning to you too," she greeted gruffly, yanking her arm from his grasp.

"What the hell is going on with you and Shepherd?" Alex demanded, paying her previous statement no mind.

Meredith's eye's darkened further. "I don't believe that's any of your business."

"You are my business! We've been together for four years and I want to know what you're doing with Shepherd. You've been scrubbing in on all of his surgeries, you've completely ditched cardio, and you've been eating lunch every day with Yang?! What is going on with you?!"

"I am NOT your business! And we WERE together. Past tense. Me giving you the ring back? That was me saying we're done. Unless you have an assignment for me as my chief resident, I have nothing to say to you."

She turned sharply on her heel and firmly gripped the door knob when Alex spoke again.

"Did you really go out with him last night?"

Meredith detected the tiniest hint of sadness in his tone was enough for her to almost make her feel bad for him.

Almost.

She whipped back around. "How did _you _hear about that?"

"One of the scrub nurses said she saw the two of you out last night," he answered. "So you did then? You're dating that guy now? He's married, Meredith."

"Why do you care, Alex? You spent God knows how long screwing my best friend behind my back. You don't just do that to the person you love, so why do you care about what I do with my life now?"

"I told you I made a mistake. I told you I was sorry. I was giving you space these past couple weeks because I thought that's what you needed. I didn't think you'd start screwing an attending to get back at me."

The accusation made Meredith's blood boil. She easily closed the gap between them in two easy strides, shooting intimidating glares Alex's way the whole time. "I'm only going to say this one more time so let me make myself perfectly clear. You no longer factor into my life or any of the decisions I make. Nothing I do is done with you in mind. I will date who I please, do what I please and I expect you to keep your opinions to yourself. So unless it is work related, stay away from me."

Not giving him enough time to respond, Meredith shot out of the room as fast as her feet would carry her. She had no idea where she was heading. All she could think about was getting as far as she could away from Alex.

She jabbed her thumb angrily at the up button for the elevator before tiredly rubbing her face with her hands. Only three and a half hours into her shift and she was already wishing her day could be over.

The elevator dinged to signal its arrival, but Meredith made no move to raise her head from her hands.

"Just the person I was looking for."

_Shit._

Meredith reluctantly lifted her head and was immediately met with the intense, calculating gaze of her mother.

And here she thought her day couldn't have gotten worse.

* * *

><p>When Derek stepped out of his car, he was grinning from ear to ear. He actually wasn't positive he had stopped smiling since he walked Meredith to her door and kissed her deeply goodnight.<p>

Walking briskly into the building, he headed straight onto the elevator, sipping from his travel mug and giving smiling hellos to the various hospital staff members he passed.

Nothing could ruin his mood.

Except for the woman that happened to follow him on to the elevator.

"Dr. Shepherd," Ellis Grey greeted sharply.

Ever since he had started working at Seattle Grace, the woman never ceased to intimidate him.

"Dr. Grey," he returned. "Good morning."

"I assume it is," she hummed, eyeing Derek suspiciously.

A moment of silence passed between them as he punched the floor number for his office and wondered why she hadn't exited on the first floor with the rest of the elevator's former occupants.

With little warning, Ellis transferred her clipboard to one hand and pulled the emergency stop button with the other.

"I am a very busy woman so I'll just get right to the point. Whatever you're doing with my daughter, end it now. She is in her 5th year of residency and needs to focus. The last thing she needs is some man using her to get through his mid-life crisis. Am I clear?"

"Excuse me?"

"Was I not speaking English or were you just not listening?"

"Your daughter is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. And the last thing I'm doing is using her."

"Oh please," Ellis scoffed. "She's had cardio as her main focus since she began her residency. Now all of a sudden she's scrubbing in on all your surgeries and completely ignored Dr. Torres' service. This is her career you're messing with, Shepherd. You're just looking for someone to admire you and pump up your ego and I'm not going to let it be my daughter you use."

"With all due respect, Dr. Grey, I didn't force Meredith on to my service. She's incredibly gifted and shows great promise in neurosurgery. I don't want her to 'pump my ego', I want to teach her. And as for our personal relationship, we're not doing anything that breaks any rules so, to be frank, you don't have any reason to forbid me from seeing her. I don't plan on going anywhere unless Meredith asks me too."

Not wanting this conversation to go pn any further, Derek reached over and pushed the stop button back in place and got off two floors before he'd originally intended.

* * *

><p>"Mother," Meredith greeted in a strangled voice.<p>

"Meredith," Ellis responded with an impatient tone. When Meredith hadn't moved from her spot just beyond the threshold of the elevator, she sighed impatiently and sent her an exasperated glare. "For God's sake, don't just hover. In or out."

"Sorry," Meredith mumbled automatically and hurried through the closing doors.

"So, I had quite the conversation with Dr. Shepherd a moment ago," Ellis began as soon as the metal doors fully closed.

"That's…nice," she replied slowly, confused as to where this discussion was going.

"He said you're showing a lot of talent on his service as of late."

"Oh." Maybe this wouldn't be as horrible as she was thinking. Perhaps the gossip of their date hadn't reached her. "I'm glad he thinks so. I've been enjoying his cases."

"Is that all you're enjoying?"

Oh, God. "Excuse me?"

"Were you ever planning on telling me that you're dating one of my attendings? Or is this just a fling to get in on his surgeries?"

"What?!"

The doors opened up and Meredith bolted through the people waiting to board, but her mother was hot on her heels.

"I'm just saying," Ellis continued. "I know you've had trouble competing with Yang to get on cardio cases, but that doesn't mean you have to resort to _this_."

"What exactly is '_this_'?"

"He's married, Meredith. And he's your superior. You don't need to…_whore_ yourself out for surgeries. I raised you better than that."

"Mom! I'm not…Oh, God," Meredith moaned in frustration. The pair slowed to a halt in a semi-secluded corner. "We went on one date and I…," Meredith lowered her voice. "I didn't 'whore myself out' for anything!"

"Then what are you doing? You're completely deserting everything you've worked for with cardio?"

"I'm just trying something else! I'm learning and I'm happy. Just let me be happy!"

"And with Derek Shepherd? Are you just trying to get over Alex?"

"This has nothing to do with Alex," Meredith glared. After a moment, her eyes softened again. "And I don't know exactly what we are right now. But _he_ makes me happy too. We want to see where it could go."

Ellis regarded her daughter with piercing eyes for a moment, contemplating everything that had just been said. Though her expression didn't change, she started nodding slowly. "Okay."

"Okay?" Meredith echoed in surprise.

"I think you're possibly making a huge mistake and you can be sure I'll be watching the two of you like a hawk. But, as your father would be quick to remind me of, you are an adult and need to make your own decisions and mistakes."

"He's not a mistake," Meredith found herself whispering.

"Even so," Ellis shrugged.

"Okay," Meredith nodded. This was clearly as much of a blessing as she was going to get.

"Okay."

With the last word, Ellis turned away from her daughter strode purposefully down the corridor.

Collapsing against the wall, Meredith let out an exhausted sigh.

"Oh, God," she groaned. "Now I really need to get my own place."

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>Let me hear what you thought!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello!  
>I know I'm ridiculously late in posting an update but I want you all to know how grateful I am to those of you who have stuck around and sent words of encouragement. Despite the writers block and the bust schedule, you are the ones I write for :)<br>**

**Some of you may have seen this already but there is a poll regarding the future of this story up on my profile and I would greatly appreciate it if you all went and participated! Only takes a second!  
><strong>

**Anyway, I hope this was worth the wait (or that you accept my apology for this being late, lol).**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 14<em>**

"Where do you live?"

Cristina looked up from the grapes she was fine tuning her suturing skills on, a rather unamused expression gracing her facial features. "Excuse me?"

"I need my own place. Like, now," Meredith fretted, turning the page in her newspaper, scouring the multiple sale ads.

"Mommy catch you doing McDreamy again?"

"Uhg," Meredith recoiled as the memory of the driveway scene played again in her head. "But she does know about our…" Dating? Were they dating?

Their dinner had been wonderful and they'd shared breakfast and a few lunches together since in the past few days but it wasn't like anything was official.

"Eye sexing each other in elevators?" Cristina finished, not looking up from her fruit.

"Cristina!"

"What? I've been with you two in those things and I feel like I need a shower afterwards."

"We're not that bad," she mumbled, hiding her blush behind the newspaper.

"Mhmm," her friend grunted, unconvinced. "I live across the street."

"What?"

"You asked where I live. I live in the apartment building across the street from the hospital."

"Need a roommate?" Meredith asked, not really expecting a 'yes'.

"We're 5th year residents, not freshmen sorority sisters in college. We spend 80 hours a week together, you wanna live together too?"

Meredith let her forehead fall to the cafeteria table in defeat. "No," she groaned. "I just need to get out of my parents' house."

"There are probably some units available. You could start there," she offered, finally attempting to be helpful.

"Really?" Meredith pathetically looked up from her place at the table.

For the rest of their lunch break, the two chatted about rent, amenities, and promising apartment locations.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Meredith strode down the halls towards the locker room and casually attempting to ignore the gossip she knew surrounded her.<p>

She had naively thought that perhaps they would have gotten tired of talking about the resident "sleeping" with her attending, but obviously nothing more scandalous had happened in the past week so she and Derek were still the talk of the town.

'Speak of the devil,' Meredith thought with coy smile. She would know that head of hair anywhere and the man it belonged to was currently addressing the interns who would be monitoring their patient overnight. Deciding to veer from her previous course, she meandered over to Derek just as he dismissed the two young doctors. His face immediately transformed from his normal, stern, professional stare to a heart melting smile Meredith had officially given up trying to avoid giving in to.

"I was just thinking about you," Derek greeted, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"Not at the hospital," Meredith softly scolded.

"I'm officially off duty," he pouted. "And I thought you were too."

"I am, but we work here. I don't want to give anyone, especially my mother, a reason to think we can't be professional while we're here."

"A kiss on the cheek is hardly enough to warrant a write up."

"I'm just being cautious," she defended.

"Okay, okay. No PDA," Derek amended, putting his hands on her waste and pulling her towards him. His actions only proving to her that he didn't really mean it. "Anyway, I don't want to argue. We have dinner plans," he smiled widely.

"We do," she agreed with a smile of her own. "And while I love good food and your company as much as the next guy, why are you so…giddy?"

"Giddy?" He chuckled at her word choice.

"You're practically bouncing out of your lab coat."

"I'm just excited," he explained simply. "We have something to celebrate."

Meredith's nose wrinkled after a minute. "You're not one of those weirdos who celebrates things like two week anniversaries or something, right?"

"No," he laughed at the disdain in her expression. "Different type of celebration."

"And you're not going to tell me," she guessed.

"Now where's the fun in that?" With a quick wink, Derek released her waist and started walking in the direction of his office. After a few steps, he glance over his shoulder, shooting Meredith yet another dazzling smile. All she could do was amusedly shake her head as she watched him disappear in the crowd.

* * *

><p>Dinner was very informal, as the couple headed straight to the restaurant from the hospital. However, Meredith wouldn't have changed a thing.<p>

The small, hole in the wall diner was homely and comfortable. Perfect for a quiet evening after a long day at work.

"How's your soup?"

"Delicious," Derek grinned, watching her swirl one of her french fires in the pool of ketchup next to her burger. "I'm glad you suggested this place. I haven't had minestrone this good since my mom's."

"She's a good cook?"

"The best," he smiled again. Meredith shared his smile, noticing how his eyes lit up with a mixture of adoration and sadness at the mention of his mother.

"Does she live far away?" she ventured. They hadn't really talked about Derek's family.

"Back in New York with the rest of my family."

"You miss them."

"I do," he nodded, not looking up from his bowl. "The move out here was somewhat sudden and I haven't been back since."

"You haven't seen your mom in five years?!"

"You sound like my sisters," he almost laughed. "No, I haven't. And believe me, I've gotten more than an ear full because of it. But we did promise that we would make it out this year for Christmas this year…Or I guess now it'll just be me," he corrected.

"Do they…Does your family know about that you filed for divorce?"

"Yeah, I called mom last week. She said she'd tell the girls. One of the drawbacks of having four sisters is having to make five phone calls when there's bad news."

The waitress came over and took their plates away with the promise of coming back with dessert. Derek reached across the table to entwine their fingers.

"Speaking of my divorce," Derek began. She didn't know why but Meredith tensed at his words. "That's sort of what I wanted to celebrate."

"You mean…"

"It's final, Mer." The happiness radiating off of him was infectious. "I got the call this morning."

"That's great, Derek! I'm so happy for you. Oh…" Her nose scrunched up at her words. "Is that something you're allowed to say when someone gets divorced?"

"I think it's okay here," he reassured her before leaning across the small space to softly kiss her lips.

It wasn't until she'd heard the words that Meredith realized how much Derek's impending divorce had been weighing on her. Now that he assured her that his marriage was legally over, it felt as if this relationship could finally begin.

But despite all of the emotions surging through her at that moment, all she could was gaze into his shining, blue eyes and smile.

The couple only broke the gaze when the waitress returned with a slice of cheesecake and two forks.

* * *

><p>Meredith sighed deeply as she leaned more of her weight against the front desk of the main nurses' station. With as good as last night has been she had been hoping to hold on to the feeling. However, the moment she saw the scans for Derek's new patient, she knew this wasn't going to be a good day.<p>

"Malignant glioma?" The man now reviewing her patient's scans let out an appreciative whistle. "That thing's huge. Guy's pretty much a goner."

Meredith glanced over her shoulder at the man analyzing her scans. "Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger," she replied sarcastically. "Are you new here?" She didn't remember her mother mentioning hiring a new attending.

"Passing through," he clarified. "Confounded by all the rain no matter how many times I visit."

"You get used to it," Meredith replied dismissively picking up her folders and moving to the other side of the counter.

Her new friend seemed to have other ideas. "Makes me want to stay in bed all day," he continued, following closely behind her.

She eyed him suspiciously as he crossed behind her. "We just met and already you're talking about bed? Not very subtle."

"Subtle's never been my strong suit," he said with a cocky grin. "So, do you ever go out with co-workers?"

"Uhh…It actually does seem to be a habit of mine," she confessed more to herself than to this stranger.

"Then you have no idea how much I wished I worked here." Everything about his demeanor told her that he didn't get turned down often.

"Are you hitting on me?" she asked with slight disbelief. "In a hospital?"

"Would that be so wrong?"

Meredith raised her eyebrow. "I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate it very much."

He took a small step closer to her, causing Meredith to step back in response. Ignoring her reaction, he leaned in to whisper. "Ten minutes in an on-call room and I can guarantee you won't even be able to remember this boyfriend's name."

Before Meredith could come up with a response or even comprehend what was happening, a fist came out of nowhere. The once confident stranger fell to the ground as soon as the punch connected with the side of his face.

It took a moment to realize that the fist belonged to Derek, who was currently enjoying the repercussions of punching someone in the face.

"What the hell was that?!"

Derek's face grimaced in pain, examining his already bruising knuckles before looking up at his very confused girlfriend.

"That was Mark."

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><p><strong>Reviews make me smile :)<br>Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello again, readers!  
>Another chapter after only a week! Proud of me? ;)<br>(Please don't expect this to be a regular thing, lol)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 15<strong>_

"Care to explain to me why my head of neurosurgery is now physically assaulting people on my surgical floor?

Meredith meekly crossed the small conference room to place an ice pack on Derek's bruising knuckles.

She had seen varying levels of the strained, seething look on her mother's face many times before. Right now it was right up there with the time Meredith had totaled her mother's car in 11th grade. Taking the chance at further pissing off her mother, she quietly took the office chair to Derek's right.

She half expected Ellis to send her out of the room, but soon relaxed a little when Richard gave her a small smile in greeting.

"That was Mark," Derek gruffly responded, repositioning the ice pack to cover the small gash between his second and third knuckle.

"Who's Mark?" Ellis questioned, shortly.

Derek was still in full pouting mode, staring intently at his swelling hand. So Meredith took a shot at speaking.

"He was Derek's friend from New York," she began, although the rest of her explanation caught in her throat when her mother glared her into silence.

"Until I found out he was the actual father of the child my wife was carrying." All eyes settled on Derek who seemed to refuse to meet their gaze.

Ellis was about to respond before Richard interrupted. "You put your weight behind it?"

"Richard!"

Derek looked up at his mentor as his mouth twitched in something akin to an amused grin. "Yes, sir."

"Well, all right then," Richard nodded, standing from the conference table.

"Richard, where are you going?! This is unacceptable! How does that excuse his behavior?"

"Ellis," her husband sighed, reaching for her arm. "Derek knows not to attack the patrons of the hospital and won't do it again. Right, Derek?" The look Richard was giving him clearly ordered him to do nothing but agree.

"Of course. Won't happen again."

Shooting daggers the whole way, Ellis allowed Richard to guide her out of the door, leaving Meredith and Derek sitting alone.

The faint click of the door echoed between them, only enhancing the silence.

"Derek…"

"Don't, Meredith."

She couldn't help but flinch at his tone. "Derek, you should talk-"

"What is there to talk about?"

"You punched him, Derek!"

"After what he did, you're saying he didn't deserve it?"

Taking a moment to keep her own emotions in check, she took a deep breath and counted to ten. "What he and Addison did was horrible. Believe me, I understand what that betrayal feels like. But this isn't the first time you've seen him since you found out so I'm just wondering where all this came from. Why now?"

Derek continued to frown at his hand and shift the ice pack over his wounds. In his silence, Meredith took the opportunity to study him. His expression didn't seem to hold much anger. It was almost more of a pout. Like a child unwilling to share his favorite toy.

And that's when it dawned on her.

"Are you jealous?"

Derek finally looked up at her. "Excuse me?"

"Oh my God, that's it."

"I don't get jealous."

"I didn't know it was Mark when he started talking to me, Derek, I swear. I even told him I had a boyfriend. You don't need to be jealous."

"I just told you, I don't get jealous!"

She had to stop herself from the smile threatening to show itself. Even bruised, scowling, and sulking, Meredith found she liked even this side of Derek Shepherd. Something about it was amusing.

"Derek," she began, leaning forward in her chair to pull his full attention. "You walked in on him naked with your wife. Actually in the throws and you turned around and walked away. And from what you told me, the same thing happened when you found out about their baby. But then you see him so much as talking to me and he's on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?"

"Are you gloating?" Thankfully, his voice was tinged with a hint of amusement.

"I'm just making some observations," she replied, raising her hands in defense. Although the slight smirk on her lips had yet to fade.

"You're actually enjoying this."

"Tell me I'm wrong," she challenged, leaning forward again. When Derek didn't respond, she grabbed the side of the conference table to pull her chair directly in front of Derek. "Der," she whispered, cocking her head in an attempt for eye contact. "You know you don't have anything to worry about, right?"

The tortured eyes that met hers broke her heart. Placing what she hoped was a comforting hand on his knee, she continued. "Look, I know it's only been a few weeks or whatever, but I am in this. Whatever this is or wherever this is going, I'm in it with you. I don't want there to be anyone else."

He didn't say anything but instead reached down with his good hand for the fingers she had resting on his knee.

"I don't know what came over me," he murmured after a few moments.

"Was it…Was it because it was Mark or just…? Cause you know you can't just punch every guy that talks to me, right?"

A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. "I know." He rubbed his thumb tenderly along his skin. "I just saw him and then when I noticed it was you he was talking to, I just…I saw red."

"Nothing was going to happen."

"I know that," he assured. "I rationally know that that is something you wouldn't do to me. But I wasn't being rational in that moment."

"Clearly," she quipped, earning a smile from Derek.

"Like you said, it's only been a few weeks, but I'm in this too. You already mean a lot to me, Meredith. I think that's why I reacted the way I did. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," she smiled. "You mean a lot to me, too."

Rising up slightly from her chair, she leaned over to tenderly kiss his lips. In the moment, Derek reached out to grasp her waist only to wince in pain.

"Mmmm," he grimaced into the kiss.

"Let me see your hand," Meredith requested, sitting back in her chair. She examined it for a minute, trailing her long fingers along his hurt knuckles. "You should be fine," she decided.

"Is that your professional opinion, Dr. Webber?" The sparkle in his eyes had returned and the grin he was sporting told her that they were going to be okay.

* * *

><p>After reminding her that he was a very important neurosurgeon who was capable of taking care of some cuts and bruises, Derek finally conceded into being led into an empty exam room so Meredith could bandage him up.<p>

"So," he began, watching Meredith gather the supplies she needed. "Should we talk about this?"

"This?"

"It seems to be what we're calling what's happening between us. I figured we should maybe define 'this'."

"You do?"

Derek flinched when she started cleaning out the cuts. "Mhm," he grunted.

"Well," She cleared her throat nervously. "When I was talking to Mark, or turning him down rather, I told him I had a boyfriend." She busied herself with reaching for the gauze she needed to wrap his hand. "I hadn't called you that before. Even in my head. But it seemed to…fit."

Derek smirked and allowed her to manipulate his hand as she wrapped the gauze around his palm. "So I'm your boyfriend?"

"Are you seriously mocking me right now? The person dressing your wounds?"

"I'm not mocking you." The teasing look in his eyes transformed into an almost loving one. It was enough to make her pause unexpectedly before looking away and reaching for the tape.

"Done," she announced, watching Derek flex his hand to test its mobility.

Noticing her embarrassed expression, he decided to remedy the situation. "Mer?" He grabbed for her arm to turn her to face him. When she still refused to look up, he tilted her chin until eye contact was made.

"Meredith…Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

The cocky grin on his face almost made her want to punch him.

"Are we in the 9th grade?"

"Now who's mocking? Answer the damn question," Derek chuckled, grin still in place.

Meredith stared at him, biting her lip to hide her amusement at making him wait for her answer.

"Meredith!"

"Fine! Yes! Yes, Derek, I will be your girlfriend. You happy?"

"Extremely."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>Let me hear your thoughts!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello!**

**Long time no update ;)**  
><strong>Thank you all for waiting patiently while I finished up with classes and finals. Your reviews and knowing there are people out there reading keeps me writing!<strong>  
><strong>Hopefully this chapter is to your liking.<strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

Meredith loved being Derek Shepherd's girlfriend.

There.

She said it.

Because being Derek Shepherd's girlfriend meant he was usually always waiting for her after her rounds with a fresh cup of coffee and some form a quick breakfast if he hadn't thought she'd had time to grab something.

It also meant he had allowed her full access to his office which served as a great place to hide away from the prying eyes in the cafeteria during lunch when Cristina was in surgery and couldn't be her shield from the steady stream of gossip. The company that came along with said office was pretty spectacular as well.

On top of all of that, being the girlfriend of Derek Shepherd also meant that she was automatically granted use of one more extra body to help unload and unpack everything from her car and into her new apartment.

As luck would have it, the tenants a couple doors down from Cristina's apartment had moved out in search of something that could better accommodate their growing family. Something Cristina was personally very thankful for.

"Do you know how loud a three year old is, Mer? The sounds that could come out of such small person would astound you."

She merely left her new neighbor one warning after setting down the last of the boxes she had carried.

"Just don't let McDreamy impregnate you with his spawn. I swear, I'll get a petition started to get you evicted."

With that and a casual wave goodbye, she left Meredith standing slightly confused amongst her small sea of boxes.

The sound of a struggled grunt and shuffling behind the door forced her away from her focus on the boxes that surrounded her. A slightly rumpled and tired looking Derek emerged through her doorway, managing to balance a particularly cumbersome box and a small table lamp as he eased them over the threshold.

"This is the last of it," he sighed heavily after lowering the contents in his arms to the ground. He cracked his back and stretched his shoulders as he righted himself and Meredith had a difficult time keeping herself from staring shamelessly. Despite the light amount of sweat he'd worked up from hauling boxes all morning, Meredith couldn't help but admire the way the material of his gray t-shirt clung to the well-defined muscles of his upper body. Or the way the bottom of it slid upwards in his stretching, revealing a particularly delicious view of his lower abdomen between the rising t-shirt and the top of his dark wash jeans.

Just another thing to add to the ever growing "Reasons I Love Being Derek Shepherd's Girlfriend" list.

"Thank God you have an elevator or that would have taken at least 3 times as long," he continued talking, oblivious to her ogling.

"Mer?"

Or maybe not so oblivious.

"Sorry," she replied quickly, shaking the inappropriate thoughts from her head. "I think I'm just a little light headed or something from all the moving."

"I'll get you some water," Derek immediately decided, quickly heading over to the small cooler he'd brought just for that purpose. "Did Cristina leave already?"

"Yeah, she has shift that starts in a couple hours. She wanted to grab a quick nap and a shower so I told her she could head out. Nothing left to do but unpack and, I'll be honest, I've seen her apartment and I don't know how she finds anything in that place. It's probably better she didn't help with this part."

"Well I have the entire day off to help you, so feel free to put me to work doing whatever you like."

"Whatever I like?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in obvious flirtation and swaying her hips over to where he was seated on the couch.

Derek didn't waste any time in grabbing for her taunting hips and pulling her down on his lap. "I was thinking something along the lines of unpacking spoons or plates, but I think I like where this is going a little better."

"That so?"

"Mhmmm." Their lips barely had the chance to graze one another before Meredith's stomach rudely interrupted. The sound of the low rumble caused her to drop her head to his shoulder in slight embarrassment as Derek laughed out loud.

"On second thought, I think I should feed you first." Dropping a quick kiss to the side of her cheek, Derek rose in search of food.

"I don't know what you're expecting to find. The only food I have at the moment is the water you brought. If you hand me my phone, I have the number of a great pizza place."

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><p>Thankfully, all the large furniture, including her couch and bed, had been delivered the day before. She was also currently thankful for the fact that she had little transfer from her parents' house aside from clothes, personal items, and other basic necessities she anticipated needing (such as the plates and eating utensils they had managed to uncover while waiting for the pizza to arrive).<p>

Meredith and Derek were both working their way through their second slice each when Derek spoke. "So I was thinking..."

"This can't be good," she grinned around her bit of pizza.

"I'll have you know, I happen to be a very important neurosurgeon."

"Is that, so? You could have a career as a mover should this neurosurgeon thing not pan out for you. I'll even be a reference," Meredith continued to tease, adding a sly wink for good measure.

"Very generous of you. In all seriousness, I've been thinking a lot about that clinical trial your dad brought up a few weeks ago. Between that and your mother jumping down my throat at every turn, I thought that maybe now would be a good time to start looking into that again."

Meredith's eyes darkened ever so slightly. "My mom's been bothering you? Why? Is she punishing you for being with me?"

"No, no! She's mad that Addison is leaving and taking it out on me, I guess."

Meredith merely nodded in response. It took less than a day for the whole hospital to hear about both the Shepherd's divorce and the 'Good Shepherd' giving her notice. In compromise for wanting to break her contract, Ellis managed to get her to stay until they could find a replacement. A task she knew her mother was finding less than enjoyable.

"So you're just doing this for my mother?" she questioned with some confusion.

"No, no. I had started researching for one a couple years ago but I'm not sure if I have the…passion for that particular topic anymore. Honestly I couldn't tell you exactly what it was now, which only proves my point. I'd be lying though, if I said getting your mother off my back about 'innovating' or 'generating' wasn't a plus."

She laughed out loud at his obvious use of her mother's words. "Well, that's great, Derek! What's the trial going to be for?"

"That's the thing. I don't have a thesis yet. I really only started thinking about a couple weeks ago. I'm still waiting to be inspired." He smiled at the word, looking deeply into her eyes. "But I wanted to bring it up to you now because, what ever it turns out being for, I'd like you to be a part of it."

"Really?"

"Of course." Putting down his half eaten slice of pizza, Derek began inching closer towards his girlfriend. "I happen to find you very inspiring."

"Is that a fact?" He'd never get used to the way her eyes lit up when she teased him.

"Of course. I have supporting evidence and everything," Derek murmured into her neck before assaulting her skin with kisses. Her giggles increased as his lips tickled her neck causing her to playfully shove him away when it got to be too much.

"In all seriousness, Meredith, I want to be inspired by my work again. I used to absolutely love what I do and, don't get me wrong, deep down I know I still do, but something isn't the same. The magic is gone. But ever since I started teaching you and working with you, I can feel it coming back. All I have to do is look over at the pure excitement I see in your eyes every time we're in the OR and I remember why I chose this specialty in the first place. You're my magic."

She almost hated herself for the tears welling behind her eyes, but his words genuinely moved her. "Okay, I'm going to forgive you for being incredibly sappy because that was also really sweet." Meredith moved the hand resting on his shoulder to caress Derek's cheek. His stubble scraped against her fingertips with each even stroke. She was still taken by surprise every now and again by how much she liked the feeling.

"I was going for romantic, but I'll take sweet."

"I'd be honored to work with you, Dr. Shepherd."

"The pleasure will be all mine, Dr. Webber."

* * *

><p>A week later, Derek trudged into the hospital in much need of caffeine and wishing he had been allotted a couple more hours of sleep. He despised being the bearer of bad news and he especially hated when there was nothing that he could do.<p>

The following evening, Meredith had successfully diagnosed a bear attack victim with a malignant glioma. However, despite the fact that the tumor was inoperable, he couldn't help but be pleased that Meredith had been the one to catch it. It was a difficult diagnose. One very easily overlooked in this particular case where adrenaline and shock could easily explain many symptoms. He'd be lying if he claimed not to be ridiculously proud of her.

After grabbing a very large, very black coffee, Derek went in search of his girlfriend. He didn't have to search long before they very nearly ran into each other while rounding a corner, causing Meredith to drop some of the files she had been balancing on top of one another.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," Meredith immediately apologized while dropping down to gather the scattered papers, not taking notice to who she had actually run into.

Kneeling to help her, Derek set down his cup to gather up the folder near his foot. "Not a problem, Dr. Webber. Let me help you with these."

Meredith's head shot up in response to the familiar voice. "Derek!"

He offered her a smile and a soft kiss on the cheek in lieu of a greeting before handing her the previously fallen folders. "What's all this?"

Meredith bit her lip in a mixture of excitement and apprehension. "I think….I think I found a way to save lives."

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><p><strong>Thank you all for reading!<br>Thoughts?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello all!  
><strong>

**I know it has been a long time since my last update, but as I warned you time and time again, I am a full time student with a part time job and I have to prioritize. Unfortunately, many things in my life have to come before writing.**

**So to those of you being nasty and negative, what part of leaving me mean reviews makes you think that will make me write faster? In fact, it makes me not want to update at all.**

**For those of you leaving lovely, supportive reviews, you all are AWESOME! You remain the reason I haven't just deleted this story all together.**

**In other news, I just posted a new story titled 'Overjoyed' that I would love for you to check out if you have the time :)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

The weeks following Meredith's revelation passed in a blur of paperwork, hours in the lab, and more paperwork. She had definitely underestimated that side of starting a clinical trial.

However, being locked in a small office with Derek Shepherd and boxes of take-out for hours on end wasn't exactly something she was complaining about.

The long hours and consequent lack of sleep had taken up a lot of their time for 'physical activities', but she would almost say it was worth it for all the quality time they were getting to spend together.

She had learned more about Derek in two months than she had learned about Alex in a year.

She now knew he had four sisters and a total of 14 nieces and nephews. His sweet of choice was coffee ice cream and single molt scotch was his drink. He never danced in public (save for the occasional slow dance) and had a faint scar on his forehead by his hairline. When she asked him about it, he explained the story behind why he never road motorcycles anymore.

She had mocked him endlessly for his choice in literature and even more at his choice in music. But despite the teasing, she surprised him one morning with _The Clash's Greatest Hits_ CD she had found while shopping and couldn't resist buying for him.

And along with all the seemingly useless information she had gathered on him, he had also opened up to her about some personal things.

Like how he went fly fishing every chance he could because it reminded him of all the fishing trips his dad had taken him on before he died. And how he had always wanted kids, but Addison had never been ready; How that made learning that the child his ex-wife was carrying wasn't his was both a relief and a punch in the gut.

With every piece of himself that he reviled, Meredith only fell for him more.

* * *

><p>Her life had actually been going so well lately that she hadn't even cared when the hospital was abuzz with the gossip of Alex and April becoming a couple. She was able to be civil and professionally detached when she was forced to work with them, but other than that, she wanted nothing to do with either of them.<p>

Even her mother was lightening up on her 'ditching cardio' once she had caught wind of her and Derek's clinical trial. Derek proudly reminded Ellis that Meredith had been the one to come up with the initial idea and had been instrumental in developing the virus cocktail they were preparing to use on the first patient. The last time she had seen her mother look remotely this approving was the day she graduated in the top of her class from medical school. The supportive wink Derek sent her was enough to put Meredith over the moon that day.

The cruel screeching of her alarm clock was Meredith least favorite way to wake up in the morning. The two strong arms tightening around her torso almost made up for the fact that she was being forced to wake up before she wanted to.

But only almost.

Managing to wiggle out of Derek's tempting embrace, she trudged out to the kitchen to prepare some much needed coffee only to discover she was out of grounds.

Once she got over the fact that she had been stupid enough to let her coffee supply get that low, she walked two doors down the hallway to barrow some from Cristina.

She was just about to near her friend's front door when it unexpectedly opened to reveal the last person Meredith would have expected.

Standing frozen in shock, she watched in awe as Owen Hunt hurriedly pulled on his coat while turning back around to face the threshold he had just come out of. Cristina appeared from inside the apartment, wrapped tightly in a dark blue robe before Owen pulled her into a chaste but passionate kiss. As soon as they parted, Owen sprinted down the hallway and turned the corner towards the elevator.

The slightly dazed smile immediately disappeared off of Cristina's face the moment she noticed Meredith's stunned figure in the middle of the hallway.

"Oh, crap."

"Cristina, what the hell do you think you are doing?!"

As soon as Meredith broke from her shocked daze, she strode the few remaining steps up to Cristina's door and hauled her back into her apartment.

"Ow! Oh my god, you are freakishly strong for such a tiny person!"

"How long have you been sleeping with an attending?!"

"Okay, was I this judgmental when you started sleeping with McDreamy?"

"This is not the same thing. He is married, Cristina!"

"So was Derek! No way you get to judge me!"

"We got drunk and slept together once after he had already decided his marriage was over. BOTH he and Addison knew it was over. And we waited to do it again until his divorce was final. Does Dr. Torres know you're sleeping with her husband?"

"It's not as bad as you think," Cristina groaned, collapsing in a kitchen chair.

"Well, enlighten me then because it looks like you're sleeping with your boss's husband who happens to be your boss as well."

"That argument really doesn't hold a lot of ground coming from you," she shot back defensively.

Meredith merely sent her a 'so not the point right now' look and waited for her friend to continue.

"It just happened," Cristina confessed softly. "I picked up a late shift in the ER and ended up working with him on a gun-shot victim that had come in. I don't know if it was the high from a difficult save; I don't even know who kissed who first. But before I knew it we were in an on-call room and I didn't want to stop."

"Where did this come from?"

"I don't know!" Cristina exasperatedly jumped from her chair. "There had been looks and sexual tension for months, but it's like you said, he's married. So I didn't do anything about it. But then it just…broke."

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"A few weeks now," she confessed, picking at an invisible crumb on the countertop.

"Do you know what you're going to d-"

"We're gunna be late for work!" Cristina interrupted before propelling herself out of the kitchen, leaving Meredith to wander back to her own apartment, confused and still without coffee.

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><p>When she got back Meredith was greeted by her half naked boyfriend standing at the stove, flipping pancakes onto a plate. Understandably so, all thoughts of Owen and Cristina were effectively forgotten about for the time being.<p>

"Good! You're just in time," he grinned, noticing her entrance. "I was wondering where you went. Did you go to Christina's?"

"Yeah," Meredith answered hesitantly, eyeing the pancakes he just placed on the breakfast bar in front of her.

"What? You don't like pancakes? Wait, I know you like pancakes because you ordered them when we went out to breakfast a couple weeks ago." Meredith continued alternating her gaze between the breakfast and the man who prepared it. "What's wrong?"

"What?"

"You look like it's going to jump up and bite you."

"You cook?" For some reason she just didn't picture this side of him.

"Somebody in this relationship has to," he snorted. "The closest thing I've ever seen you eat that remotely resembles breakfast was a slice of cold pizza that morning after you moved in here and, let's face it, that's just sad."

Derek quickly served the remaining pancakes on to his own plate and sat himself in the stool across from Meredith.

"I make coffee!" Meredith defended, as she proceeded to drown her breakfast in the syrup Derek brought over.

"So doesn't count as an adequate breakfast," he bantered. "That's even sadder than the cold pizza."

Meredith was slowly caring less and less about the fact that he was mocking her severe cooking limitations with every sweet bite.

"Fine, Betty Crocker, you can be in charge of breakfast from now on."

"That doesn't seem fair." He managed to feign a pretty convincing pout but the playful glimmer in his eyes gave him away.

"Whatever, but if you ask me to do my share, your options are either cereal or leftover pizza. Or grilled cheese. I heat up a mean leftover grilled cheese."

Derek laughed at her teasing wink. "How did you ever properly nourish yourself before I arrived?"

Meredith pointed her fork in his direction as a playful threat. "I got on fine, thank you very much."

"I guess I'll just have to stay from now on to make sure you don't waste away," Derek chuckled.

But Meredith wasn't laughing. Instead, she had stopped eating and was now staring thoughtfully (albeit, slightly freaked out) at the man across from her.

Did he mean that as a hint? Or a harmless joke?

It wasn't as if he wasn't already at her place the majority of the time. Rarely a night passed when they weren't either at her apartment or his trailer if they had time for the commute.

Half her closet was taken over with his clothing and his toiletries lined the bathroom shelves along with her own. And the fact that winter was coming and his trailer lacked central heating would certainly be another plus for him. And her if she wanted to keep her boyfriend hypothermia free.

Maybe Derek moving in wasn't the worst idea.

"Meredith?"

Derek's concerned voice managed to break through her minor freak out.

"Mer? It was a joke, ya know? I'm not trying to push us into anything before you're ready."

"I know that," she waved it off, before looking back down at her plate. She spent a good minute pushing the remaining pieces of pancake around before gaining the courage to speak.

"But what if you did decide to stick around?" she asked looking up from between her lashes.

Derek searched her face for a few moments, trying to gage the true meaning behind her simple question. "I, uhhh…I think I could manage that," he finally replied in an attempt to seem nonchalant.

The couple barely lasted three seconds at acting indifferent about prospect of moving in together before they both broke out in huge grins. Derek quickly dropped his fork and rushed around the breakfast bar to pull Meredith into a tight hug, capturing her lips in an earthshattering kiss.

Needless to say, they were both late to work that day.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me happy :)<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you all for the continued support and patience!  
>I hope this chapter is to everyone's liking :)<strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 18<strong>_

Meredith was living with a boy.

Clearly she knew that was a part of the deal when she agreed to move in with her boyfriend, but it hadn't really hit her until moving day had come, gone, and left her staring at Derek's shoes lined up neatly next to hers in the conservatively sized walk-in closet.

He didn't own a lot of things, or rather, he had let Addison take all the meaningless knick-knacks and what-not in the divorce. All he had wanted when they divided the assets was the land here in Seattle, the trailer, and any assets he had originally brought into the marriage. Because of this, moving him into the apartment only took one trip to and from the trailer and two trips for each of them to bring the boxes form the cars up to the apartment.

Derek mainly just brought his clothing, some books, CD's, and a couple odds and ends that blended nicely alongside the few pictures and decorations Meredith had put up.

But it wasn't until she was standing in _their_ closet a couple days later that it really hit her.

Derek only owned four pairs of shoes. One pair of nice, dress shoes, two pairs of sneakers he usually wore to work, and one pair of hiking boots.

Meredith owned a few more pairs compared to Derek's conservative four, but they all lined up nicely alongside each other in the back of the closet. Like all of the rest of Derek's things that meddled seamlessly beside Meredith's. They fit.

So standing in the middle of the closet that now smelled so much like the man she loved, it finally hit Meredith that she lived with a boy.

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><p>Co-existing full time with someone who wasn't one of her parents was something Meredith had no experience in and took a surprising amount of adjustment.<p>

She hadn't even had a roommate in college thanks to Ellis's insistence that her daughter have her own room lest she get distracted from her possible roommate's partying or other 'needless frivolity'.

The thing that took the most adjusting to was the simple fact that he was there.

All the time.

It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy his company. She was just finding her days severely lacking in alone time anymore.

She meant to bring it up gently, but every time she started to sway the conversation in that direction, Derek would kiss her shoulder or her cheek and things always progressed to a point where Meredith couldn't even remember her own name, let alone any previous conversation.

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><p>This wasn't good.<p>

Derek had just slammed his head light down angrily after calling time of death on their 8th clinical trial patients.

She knew the consecutive deaths were really starting to get to him lately but the sudden outburst had taken her and the rest of the people in the OR by surprise.

Derek had been throwing everything in he had into this trial lately. He had even come up with a new way of attacking the tumor with the virus by administering it on both sides with two needles.

Unfortunately, this patient didn't even make it off the table.

Meredith sighed tiredly and took her time scrubbing out to give Derek a moment to regroup before they had to talk to the family. By the time she was done, Derek was nowhere to be found so she tasked herself with handling the family on her own.

'_I'll tell David's family the news. I know you need some time but please let me know if you're okay.'_

She frantically typed out the text before hitting send and started mentally preparing herself for the absolute worst part of her job.

It had been two hours and Derek still hadn't responded to her text message. Needless to say, Meredith was beginning to freak out. Actually, she passed 'freak out' about fifty minutes ago and was well on her way to panicked.

'_Okay, you can't just disappear like this Derek. I'm just trying to figure out if you're alright._'

She passed caring and sympathetic an hour ago. If tough love was what was going to get him out of hiding, then tough love it was.

Meredith couldn't stifle her sigh of relief when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip.

'_I'm sorry. I needed some time. I'll see you at home._'

Stupid, brainless brain man. She sighed deeply before shoving her phone in her lab coat pocket.

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><p>Meredith was distracted through the rest of her shift. She had no idea what she'd find when she got home, and to be honest, she was scared to find out.<p>

When she finally made it home, she tentatively opened the door and peered in. Easily recognizing Derek's silhouette on the sofa, Meredith entered the apartment and made her presence known.

"Der? Derek?"

He didn't answer or make any move to indicate that he had heard her so she dropped her coat and purse by the door and walked directly to where he was sitting.

"Derek? Come on, please say something. You're really starting to scare me."

"What do you want me to say, Meredith?"

Words. Words were good. They were riddles with sadness and despair, but still progress.

"Anything. Yell, scream, cry; I don't care. Anything but holing yourself up in our apartment and ignoring me."

Derek seemed to contemplate her words for a moment while he eyed the half empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table. He'd only had a couple glasses since coming home but if Meredith wanted to talk about this, he might need more alcohol.

When he didn't start yelling, screaming, or crying, Meredith continued, "It wasn't your fault. All of our patients are terminal. And David we knew was an even higher risk since he was prone to blood clots. The autopsy showed that's what caused him to stroke on the table. There was nothing you could have done."

"There was," Derek argued suddenly. "I knew the risk was too high with him. I had a feeling we shouldn't do the surgery but we did it anyway."

"He wouldn't have last more than a month in his condition."

"But he would have still had a month! He still had a little bit of time and we took it away from him!"

Derek's unexpected outburst caused Meredith to jump in surprise. However, even anger was better than his previous catatonic stare. "David wanted to fight it," she reminded him gently. "He didn't want to spend his last month letting the tumor keep taking over his body. He told me before the surgery, he wanted to go down fighting."

"I'm just so tired of all the death," he confessed softly, leaning his elbows heavily on to his knees. "I knew it would take time to get it right, but…"

"But what?" Meredith coaxed, placing what she hoped was comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I tried not getting my hopes up. Hell, I warned you at least ten times not to when we first started the trial. But these aren't nameless test subjects. These are people. With lives and families. And I'm just so tired of feeling like all I'm doing is destroying these lives."

The tortured expression on Derek's face completely broke Meredith's already crumbling heart. She moved her hand from his shoulder to clasp it around his own hand as she moved herself closer to her boyfriend.

"You have given 8 people a chance to fight when no one else was giving them one," she stated firmly. "Every person in our trial has been well aware of every single risk involved. It only hurts this much because you care. You care so much about every one of your patients and that's what makes you such an amazing doctor." She paused to push some of his unruly hair out of his eyes. "It's also one of the many reasons why I love you so much."

That last part earned her the beginnings of a smile and his hand moved to Meredith's knee in thanks.

Suddenly, Meredith was struck with an idea.

Ignoring Derek's questioning stare, she hurried straight to the kitchen before rushing back to the couch clutching a bottle of champagne. They'd finally gotten around to having a house warming party and still somehow had left over bottles of wine and champagne since some people had also brought it as gifts.

Plopping down next to a completely confused Derek, she held up the unopened bottle with a small smile. "I know we still have one of these in the fridge and enough wine for the next 4 months, but this bottle is special. This is going to be our victory dance. When we get it right, and we will get it right, we're going to open this bottle of champagne. I promise, Derek."

The strength and sincerity in her words took Derek's breath away. Despite the gnawing doubts still lingering in his head, he wanted nothing more than to believe her.

"How are you so sure?"

Meredith looked him square in the eye and smiled. "You're extraordinary, Derek. I'd be a fool to bet against you."

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